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“Would you like to sit down?” he asked as he handed me my drink.
“Yeah, I think…yes, please.” I stopped myself before I started rambling.
As I lowered onto the couch, I could feel my nerves amping up. I took a sip of the cocktail and was surprised at how smooth it went down.
“Mmm, this is good. What is this?”
He took a sip of his own, his eyes locked with mine. “It’s my take on a Sex on the Beach.”
My lady parts spasmed at the memory of our night on the beach. I wasn’t sure if that was what he’d wanted to happen when he’d made it, but that’s what did.
As images of our intimate cave experience filled my mind, I did my best to push them aside and concentrate on why I was there. I took another sip and set my glass down. “I’m not really sure where to start.”
“Start anywhere ya like, darlin’. We can always circle back if ya miss something.” Jimmy smiled the same smile that he’d given me the first day down at the docks.
And just like that, all the tension drained from my shoulders. There it was, the balm to my anxiety.
I took a deep breath and just dove right into the one part of the talk I was dreading the most. “I don’t know when I’m going to die.”
As soon as it came out of my mouth, I wanted to facepalm. That was absolutely the wrong place to start.
“Neither do I.” Jimmy looked appropriately confused. “Do most people?”
I took a deep breath. “No. But most people don’t have a heart condition that killed their mother, and could kill them at any time.”
I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting Jimmy’s reaction to be, but when his face filled with worry, I realized that, that wasn’t it. “You’re sick?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I mean, yes. I mean…not really. I have a small hole in my heart. The placement makes it impossible for doctors to repair. My mother had it, too. She died when she was twenty-seven.”
The color drained from his face, which was another reaction I wasn’t expecting. “You’re gonna die when you’re twenty-seven?”
“No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know. They don’t have any answers. Some people live their entire lives never having an issue, and others with the condition die as infants. They haven’t discovered any links to determine contributing factors as to why that is.”
“God,” Jimmy choked out, his voice barely there. I thought he might say more, but he just kept breathing hard.
“I didn’t know that I had it. I only found out because when I turned twenty-five, I inherited my mother’s estate and had access to the coroner’s report. I’d always thought that my mom died of a broken heart.
“My dad left when I was four and my mom spent the last three years of her life in bed. I’ve researched depression, and most people who suffer from it have good days and bad days. My mother only had bad days. Then one day, when I was seven, I came home, and Mrs. B told me that she was in heaven. My father came and got me, and no one ever spoke of it again.
“So I was curious about her actual cause of death, and it turns out I was right. She did die of a broken heart, just not the kind I thought. I looked up the numbers. One in ten million people have the condition, and of those that do, fifty percent pass away prematurely.”
I paused, not sure where to go from there. I figured I might as well tell him about the list. “After I got the coroner’s report, I didn’t understand it, so I went to see a cardiologist to ask what it meant. Dr. Pine recommended that I get some tests done. I went back a week later and she basically told me everything that I just told you.
“I left her office and realized that I had lived my entire life just trying to make my father happy. He was very strict. Very controlling. I don’t know if that is just his way or if it had something to do with my condition. But, whatever the reason, I followed every rule, even unwritten ones, trying to gain his approval. I hadn’t lived.
“So, I decided to make a list. A Before I Die list. And I came down to Firefly Island to see Mrs. B because the best memories of my childhood all have her in them. I was on my way to the boarding house when I saw the dock. Going out on a boat was on my list. And then once I was on the boat, other things happened that were on my list. And then on the Ferris wheel, and at Peachtree Peak.”
I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment, but I pushed on. “Anyway, that’s why when you said the things you did last night, I reacted the way I did. This can’t be anything more than what this is.”
“Why not?” Jimmy asked.
“Were you listening to what I just said?”
“Yeah. And?”
“And I have the same cond—”
“Condition that your mama did.” Jimmy cut me off. “Yeah, the one that is one in ten million and a fifty percent survival rate. I’m not a gamblin’ man, but I’d say those are good odds.”
