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CHAPTER 44
Hank
Istared down at the letter I’d read hundreds of times and read it a hundred and one. It was the one that my mother had left me the night she died. For the first time, I was considering telling my siblings about it. I was trying to look at it through a lens of fresh eyes. I wanted to try and anticipate what they might feel about it when they read it for the first time.
That was hard to do since I knew it by heart and every time I looked at it I felt like the same sad, scared teenager that had found it.
I’d tried to protect them from them knowing, but since they were hell-bent on me speaking to Jerry Samson I really didn’t think I had another choice.
They thought that I was being a dick, or stubborn but the truth was, I just didn’t want them to carry the burden of knowing what I knew. But last night Billy had come over and asked if my wedding present to him would be calling the mechanic.
I knew that I couldn’t shield them from the truth forever. My plan was to get through the wedding and then talk to Jerry before Billy and Reagan got back from their two-week honeymoon.
I hoped I was doing the right thing. There was one person’s advice I’d really like to get, but I hadn’t seen or heard from her since she walked out of the back office seven days ago.
Since I was six years old, when Billy was born, I’d been trying to get to a place where the only person I had to worry about was me.
I finally achieved my goal. And I hated it. It was lonely. Empty. Pointless.
I wondered if this was what celebrities were talking about when they said that fame and money don’t make you happy. They would spend years working toward a goal, I’m sure thinking that they would be happy once they achieved it, only to find out it didn’t fill that empty space in them.
After the wedding, after I spoke to Samson, after I gave her the space that she clearly wanted, I was going to fight for her. I just needed to do it in a way that was respectful of Luna and make sure that it didn’t affect her life at all.
There was a knock at the door and I figured it was Billy. I doubted he had cold feet, but it was the night before his wedding. He hadn’t wanted a bachelor party because he said that he’d done all the bacheloring he wanted to, but I wasn’t surprised that he was stopping by for a beer.
When I opened the door it took my brain a second to catch up to what my eyes were seeing. Skylar was standing on my doorstep.
“Hi.” I managed to say even though I felt my throat tighten with anxiety.
She didn’t look happy. But she also didn’t look upset. Normally, I could tell what she was thinking by looking into her expressive eyes, especially when they were magnified behind her glasses, but I tried and had no idea.
“Hi,” she breathed out. “Can I come in?”
“Of course,” I opened the door and she stepped inside.
“How have you been?”
“Shitty,” I answered honestly.
“I’m sorry. What’s wrong?” she asked.
I thought about telling her that I was miserable without her in my life, but if she was coming over to say that she wanted to be friends I didn’t think that was a fair burden to put on her, so I kept it to myself.
“What’s that?” she asked as she pointed to the lined paper I held in my hand.
I handed her the letter that I’d never shown another soul.
When she took it, she looked down at it, then back up at me. “What is it?”
“It’s a letter my mom left for me the night she died. I found it under my pillow a few days later.”
“Oh,” she tried to hand it back to me.
“I want you to read it. Please.”
Her eyes widened for a split second before she nodded, looked down, and carefully unfolded it.
I explained, “I’ve never told anyone that she left that. No one knows it exists except you and me.”
