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For a moment she considered giving him a media-approved response. Be vague, never specific. But then she decided against it. She didn’t want to do that anymore. She wanted to be real and honest. No matter how scary it was. Taking a breath she set her fork down, wiped her mouth with her napkin, laid it back across her lap and straightened her shoulders.
She held his gaze as she recounted her list of humiliating moments. “Let’s see I remember leaving Amber’s and stumbling so you had to pick me up and carry me to the car. I remember telling you that you smelled good and that I wanted to taste you. I remember you buckling me in and me trying to pull you back into the car when you tried to shut my door. I remember telling you that you were the reason I came to Harper’s Crossing because I had a crush on you. I remember telling you that you were no fun and calling you Mr. Professional. I remember asking you if you believed in love and also telling you I thought that if I came here we would kiss, do other things that I hadn’t done before and hopefully fall in love.”
His only reaction to her comprehensive recap was his eyebrows lifting ever so slightly.
She couldn’t help the smile that spread on her face. She’d actually said what she remembered and the earth hadn’t swallowed her up. She hadn’t died. And she felt better now that it was all out in the open. She felt free. She felt powerful. With a boldness born from that wave of exhilaration she asked, “Did I forget anything?”
***
Very few people surprised Dax, but Ginny had just shocked the hell out of him. All night he’d been trying to come up with how he could broach the subject of the things she’d said. Never in a million years had he thought she would just come out and say that she remembered. She’d even asked if she’d forgotten anything.
“You also told me that Amber and Seth had a one night stand and didn’t know each other’s names before they ran into each other years later and that the first words out of Alex’s mouth when he saw Jamie for the first time was ‘will you marry me’.”
Her hand flew over her mouth and she mumbled behind her palm, “I did?”
He nodded in confirmation as she once again had a reaction he never would have suspected.
She gasped and her eyes widened. “Oh no.”
Out of all the things she’d said last night, he wouldn’t have thought those would be the ones that would have her gasping.
“They told me that in confidence.” She dropped her hand and shook her head, clearly frustrated with herself as she continued, “I mean, some of it they’re going to talk about in their couple’s interview for the video, but still. That wasn’t my business to tell.”
Damn. Was this girl for real? Was she actually upset because she’d betrayed some imagined confidence of people she barely knew? He watched as she pushed a piece of her pancake around her plate.
He hated seeing her be so hard on herself. “I’m sure those stories are common knowledge in Harper’s Crossing. It’s a small town and everyone knows everyone’s business.”
“Still,” she shrugged.
Since that hadn’t made her feel better, he figured he might as well change the subject to something that he was sure would distract her from her perceived indiscretion. “So tell me more about this crush.”
A flush rose up her cheeks and her eyes lifted to his. He saw a moment of hesitation before she smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry about that. You have been so generous. You let me stay in your house after I just showed up at your door. You humored my mom by agreeing to be my bodyguard. And then I get drunk and…and then I…well I…you know…”
It was obvious that she was flustered but that didn’t stop him from pursuing the line of questioning further. In fact, it spurred him on. If she had laughed and said that she had no idea where that had come from and blamed it on drunken ramblings, then he might have dropped it. But her stammering and blushing made him think that there was some truth to what she’d said.
“No, I don’t know. That’s why I asked the question that you didn’t answer. So I’ll ask again, tell me about this crush,” he repeated but this time added, “Oh and also about the kissing and other stuff you’ve never done before that you wanted to do with me.”
Her lips pursed in the cute way that he’d noticed they did whenever she was thinking, or nervous, or tense. Her gaze darted around the room and down to the table. She bit her bottom lip and looked like a trapped animal. He was pretty sure at any moment she was going to attempt an escape. She definitely had a fight or flight air about her and he waited patiently for her to decide what her next move was going to be.
“Fine.” She set down her fork, laid her hands flat on the table, and lifted her gaze to meet his with a glint of challenge in them. “I have, or…um had, I had a crush on you. After I went home with you the night of Stephanie’s party I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I almost called you or texted you about a hundred times but I didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t know what to say because…” She took a deep breath and licked her lips. “Because I’ve never had a boyfriend. I mean a real boyfriend. I’ve only kissed two people. One of them was a drunk guy at a Christmas party and then the second was Derek, but that was just for a show.
“My life has been really sheltered. I know it probably doesn’t seem like that from the outside looking in, but it has. Before my mom went on this honeymoon, I’d never gone a day without seeing her. She is so amazing and has sacrificed so much for me, but she was wild when she was a teenager and I think she always worried that I would end up that way. So she was always there, making sure I didn’t do, well, anything. Plus, I was always working. And any downtime I had, if she wasn’t with me it was easy for her to keep tabs on me because she would hire security.” She motioned towards him as if he was Exhibit A.
“Because of that, I never had any time alone. The thing was, until I met you, I didn’t really care.” Her right shoulder lifted in a shrug. “And I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, it’s not like my mom was some crazy stage mom that forced me to sing and perform, she’s not at all. It’s what I wanted to do. What I love to do. And I was never one of those boy-crazy girls. I just wanted to sing, so really it was never an issue. But then after the night we stayed up talking, it was all I could think about. You were all I could think about. It consumed me. The only thing I wanted to do was come back here and see you again. You know, to kiss you and all the other things I’ve never done. But I don’t know, I could never get the courage to do it.
“Then a lot of things happened at once. My mom got married, I walked away from my label and I fired Shane. I had always planned to give my mom a honeymoon as a wedding gift if she ever got married. So I did. And I made sure it was a long enough time and far enough away that I could spread my wings. I hoped it would be the perfect time to see if there really was anything between us. To see if you felt the same way as I did. So when I dropped my mom off at the airport, I messaged Chase to see if he could work on the album, packed my bags, drove all night and showed up at your door.
“That was it. My big plan. But then you got roped into being my bodyguard. And then you told Seth that there was nothing going on between us, because obviously there wasn’t, or isn’t. Which is fine. Everything was fine, but then I got drunk and made things awkward. Soooo, that’s it. That’s the whole story.” She let out a huff of laughter as she stood and grabbed her plate. He watched as she took it to the sink and started rinsing it. Glancing over her shoulder she said, “I’m sorry again, I promise I won’t sneak into your room and take advantage of you in your sleep or anything.”
So many emotions were raging inside of him, he didn’t exactly know where to start. He felt more protective, more possessive and more primal than he even knew he was capable of feeling. Those feelings drove him as he got up and crossed the kitchen stopping directly behind her. All he could hear was the pounding of his heartbeat in his head as he placed his hands on the counter on either side of her, caging her in.
Leaning down, so his lips brushed her ear, he rasped, “Since the morning you left all I could think about was you. It drove me crazy. I know you said you’ve never had a boyfriend, but since I was a teenager I have dated a constant stream of women. Never anyone seriously, but always someone. But since spending that night with you on my couch, I haven’t gone home with anyone. I haven’t had sex with anyone. I haven’t kissed anyone. I haven’t touched anyone. No one else existed but you. Only you.”
Over her shoulder he could see her chest rising and falling in rapid pants as she slowly turned so she was facing him. Her aqua blue eyes peeked up at him through a bed of dark lashes. They were so wide and open he honestly felt like he could drown in her stare. In that instant he completely forgot who he was or even where he was. There was a lot more he had to say, but he couldn’t speak. He was like a caveman and all he could think about was kissing her mouth and claiming her.
“Do you still want to kiss me?” There was an urgency in his voice. He needed to know and he needed to know now.
She nodded as she took in a shaky breath. “Yes, yes, ye—”
