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Chapter Fifteen
Ella’s breathing was so shallow that she thought she might pass out. Not that passing out wouldn’t have been worth it if she could have the amazing Donovan sex dream again.
Except…now it wasn’t a dream anymore. For the rest of her life, she was going to have to apply mental air quotes around the word when she thought about that night.
It was a radical perception shift, and she wasn’t sure how to process it.
She took a deep breath, eyes fixed on Donovan. This wasn’t the time to run away and hide inside her head. How better to work through her feelings than with him?
Come on, Ell. It’s lion or bunny time. Choose.
She chose lion.
With trembling fingers, she traced the line of his jaw. “I have an idea,” she breathed.
“What is it?”
“Since that night is the best both of us ever had, and we just discovered the very crazy detail that it, you know, actually happened…what do you say we take this opportunity to, well, try to outdo ourselves?”
His pupils dilated and a strangled sound escaped from his throat.
She moved her hand to his chest and whispered, “Can I take that as a yes?”
He didn’t answer her question with words. He didn’t need to. His arms answered when he wrapped them around her, his lips answered when they pressed against hers, his heart answered when it raced in his chest like it might explode.
Her head spun as his lips moved against hers, then trailed kisses down her neck. She could see how she’d mistaken their last encounter for a dream. He’d barely touched her and already she felt her hold on reality slipping.
She couldn’t believe this was really happening. All those years she’d kept her feelings for Donovan held under tight lock and key because she hadn’t wanted to jeopardize their friendship. Nothing sexual was worth that. No one night of passion could possibly be a decent trade-off for never having him in her life again.
At least that’s what I thought before I felt him kiss me. Now I’m not so sure…
Now she didn’t have to worry about that. Donovan only being back in town for a short time was painful in many ways, but at least there was this one benefit—she could relax and let this happen with no fear about how it would impact their future relationship.
She let her head slip backwards and closed her eyes tight. She wanted to lose herself in him, in the swirling sensations his lips sent her swimming in. If this was the only time they were destined to be together, she didn’t want to waste any of it up in her own head. She wanted to fully embrace it.
He traced his tongue in meandering paths down the tender, exposed skin of her neck. Heat spread outward from those trails and soon she was engulfed in electric sizzle. Every inch of her skin, every muscle in her body, tingled with Donovan’s touch.
She raised her head and opened her eyes. She wanted to look at him, watch what he was doing to her. It wasn’t enough to feel him touch her. She wanted to see his skin make contact with hers. That was the only way it would feel real.
“Oh, this feels so amazing,” she breathed. More to herself than him, really. It was a stream of consciousness rambling.
He raised his head to look into her eyes at her words. The connection that flashed between them was instant and powerful. The bond that formed when their gazes met filled her with energy, with emotion.
Are we really doing this?
It hadn’t occurred to her until that moment how vulnerable she was leaving herself to heartbreak by going down this road—she’d been so focused on the pleasure that it promised that she’d thrown caution to the wind.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Donovan whispered, running his thumb along her cheek. “It’s kinda getting real.”
Her heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t say anything, and the air was silent aside from the sound of her deep breathing.
This was the moment. If she were going to turn back, play it safe, maintain the status quo—this would be the time to do it.
But as she looked at Donovan’s handsome face, that face she’d loved almost her entire life, she found that she was actually more scared to pass up the opportunity than to face whatever emotional fallout might ensue.
She reached up and grasped his hand in hers and smiled tremulously. “I’m sure,” she whispered. “Totally sure.”
His face relaxed into a smile and he leaned forward and kissed her deeply. He plunged his tongue into her mouth and she dug her fingernails into his shoulders. A visceral hunger built up in her and low moans escaped from her throat. This was something new for her—she was on the verge of completely losing control.
