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Chapter 15
“I’m grabbing another beer. You guys want one?”
Gavin and Donovan both gave their brother quick nods and Troy headed into the kitchen through the back deck slider.
Donovan turned to Gavin. “So, why am I here?”
“In an existential sense?”
“No, shithead. Why this whole brothers’ night thing? And you might want to start talking before Troy comes back if you don’t want both of us ganging up on you.”
Gavin considered how much to tell his brother. He decided on a carefully edited version of the truth. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do with my life now.”
“And? Any conclusions?”
“None.”
“Maybe if you talked to us about why you need to find a new path– like, what happened to the old one– it would be clearer.”
Donovan’s smirk served to lessen the tension in Gavin’s neck, at least a little. His brother was giving him a hard time. That was a time-honored tradition between brothers, and the Valentines were no exception.
Gavin could handle that. What he couldn’t handle was Donovan pushing him to get real. He wasn’t ready to share his diagnosis yet. Or his relationship, if he could even call it that.
Of course, if push came to shove, he’d just clam up, or even stand up and walk away. That was his usual MO. But he wasn’t in the mood to have beef with Troy or Donovan. Not when he’d already treated Genevieve like crap today. His “treating loved ones like shit” quotient was just about filled.
“Life is long and paths are many.”
“Oh, great. From fighter pilot to Zen Buddhist monk. It’s quite a transformation.”
Gavin allowed himself a smartass grin and took a swig of his beer. “Both things can exist at once. Yin and yang.”
Donovan groaned. “And it only gets worse!”
Troy stepped through the slider and handed out the beers. “What only gets worse?”
Donovan gestured to Gavin with his bottle. “His jokes.”
Troy dropped back into his chair. “Oh, yeah. I could’ve told you that.”
The brothers sipped their beers and stared out at the moonlight glimmering on the constantly shifting surface of the ocean. This was the kind of family time Gavin could get behind– all the warmth and comfort of being together, none of the pressure of conversation.
But…would it really be so bad if I told them what was going on? What’s the worst that could happen?
Fear shot through him at the thought. Being vulnerable? Admitting weakness? Making a revelation that would result in ten thousand follow-up questions. Fuck, no.
Troy set his beer on the arm of his chair and clasped his hands together. Gavin braced himself. This was Troy in full-fledged “big brother” mode, and there wasn’t a whole lot you could do to stop him when he got going.
“You know, it’s not as if Donovan and I have nothing to offer on the topic of starting your life over from scratch.”
“True,” Donovan chimed in. “Last year, when my security clearance was in jeopardy and I was looking down the barrel of everything in my life changing, it was scary as shit. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do.”
“Thanks for the pep talk,” Gavin deadpanned. “You’ve been very inspiring. I can’t wait for your Ted Talk.”
“See?” Troy countered. “That just goes to show that you’re feeling threatened. You always go on the offensive when you think there’s going to be a fight.”
“Well, isn’t there?”
“No. We’re not trying to force you to talk about something you’re not ready to.”
