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Chapter 39
When Alison had jokingly mentioned she thought she and Troy had a lot of long evenings in front of the fireplace ahead of them, complete with glasses of wine, this wasn’t quite what she’d had in mind. She’d pictured them poring over the dream board photos she’d collected, talking about which projects would be feasible in the space and how they would make it work.
She’d imagined it being fun.
To be fair, that was how this had started out, but that wasn’t how it was ending.
“Alison, I just wish you’d be honest about what you want,” Troy said, his head in his hands. She could hear how frustrated he was, and it did tug at her heartstrings, but, damn it, she was frustrated, too.
“I haven’t lied. Not once. I’ve told you I’m torn, and confused, and unsure what the future holds. That is the truth. I am being honest.”
He shook his head. “I knew this was a mistake. I got carried away. The first time in so many years I haven’t put Mila first and look where it gets me. Gets us.”
“Where it gets you? What are you talking about? I am literally flying down to San Francisco for one dinner meeting. It’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean I’m leaving.”
“When you said you were opening up a business here, I let myself believe you were really staying.”
“I didn’t say I’m opening a business here. I am opening a business here. And I am staying. That’s the plan. Even if this concert series came through, we’re not looking at me moving. It would be travel. A lot of people travel for work. It’s not unheard of.”
Troy nodded. He was silent for a long time, then he said, “I know. You’re right. You’re right about everything you’re saying. I know that. I understand it. In my head, anyway. My emotions are upside down, though. This whole thing has thrown me for a loop.”
Alison breathed a sigh of relief that he realized that, thinking that things could just settle back to normal between them. She’d just settled back against the couch cushions, a smile on her face, waiting for him to smile back at her, when his next sentence blindsided her.
“So, I think maybe we should take a little break. I’m not seeing things rationally. And I need to get my head on straight. It’s only fair to Mila. That’s the kind of parent she needs.”
She sat forward, her stomach lurching, her face losing color. “A break?”
He nodded, then took a step closer to her and brushed his fingers along her hairline. “Yeah,” he whispered, “I think that’s for the best.”
She swallowed hard. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. That wasn’t the kind of woman she was. Still, her voice came out froggy when she said, “For how long?”
He shrugged. “Till you get back, I think. And it doesn’t have to be weird. Text me when your plane lands and everything. It’s not a total communication blackout. I just…” He paused and looked into her eyes, his filling with tortured angst. “I need to not see your beautiful face for a while. Hear your angel voice. Smell your intoxicating hair. I have to think straight, and I can’t do that in the same room as you.”
His voice strangled on the last phrase and he strode out the door, not once looking back at her. She heard his truck fire up and rumble off down the road, and only then did she start to cry.
