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I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second.
“Okay,” I said. I had my emotions under control. Vegas would be fine. My anxieties about him were unfounded and once this day was over, I’d see that it would be okay and then tomorrow would be a little easier.
“You good?” she asked, and I nodded.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I rolled my shoulders back and cleared my throat and I was ready to face the day of work.
“Okay, I’m going to get to the library before class. You can call or text me if you need to.” She gave me another quick hug before she headed off in the opposite direction. I had to take the train to work. I looked once more up at the building and considered blowing off work and going in to grab Vegas, but then I forced my feet to start walking in the direction of the closest station.
Time to focus on work and not think about how much I already missed my puppy.
––––––––
“HEY, I HAVE A QUESTIONfor you,” I said to Jessika, the coworker who was also in law school. She’d been so busy that I hadn’t had a chance to talk to her yet, but I caught her in the break room having a yogurt.
“Go for it,” she said, licking her spoon. I sat down with my microwave pasta meal that had been a last resort lunch when I was packing my bag this morning. I got discounted hotel food, but I didn’t need to spend extra money on that right now.
“So, say I have this friend who got married in Vegas and then wanted to get that marriage annulled six months later. How would my friend go about doing that?” Jessika set her yogurt down and put both hands on the table between us.
“Hold up, are you telling me that you got married in Vegas?”
“No, a friend. Wasn’t me.” I didn’t want to get into it. I wished I was a better liar. I should have practiced this better.
Jessika tilted her head to the side and crossed her arms. Her dark eyes were skeptical.
“Callyn. Come on. We both know you’re a terrible liar. So, what did you do?”
I opened my mouth to deny it again, but that wasn’t going to get me anywhere. Maybe if I told her the truth she’d be more inclined to help me out. Emma had said she was going to take care of things, but I also didn’t know if maybe there was a time limit, and if we stayed married and didn't get it taken care of right away, that it would bite us in the ass later.
The whole story came spilling out of my mouth. Maybe it was easier to talk to Jessika because she wasn’t as close as everyone else. I also knew she was a levelheaded person and would let me know the truth without any bullshit. I kind of needed that right now.
“Well. You are in a situation, aren’t you?” She rested both arms on the table and leaned forward.
“Pretty much. I mean, I went along with it because it made sense at the time, and being married to her is great. I mean, it’s pretty much the same as not being married. My health insurance is better and I might get a decent tax return, but none of that is really being married. It’s just financials stuff. We’re not in love or anything.”
Jessika had her lips pressed so hard together that I knew she had something to say.
“What?” I said.
“There are so many things I want to say right now, but I don’t think you’re ready to hear them. I’ll do some research for you, totally, and let you know what I find. Other than that, I’d say to just keep doing what you’re doing and to pay attention.”
I picked up my fork to eat my now-cooling pasta. I was starving and this was better than nothing.
“Pay attention to what?” I asked.
“Just . . . pay attention,” she said, tossing her empty yogurt cup in the recycling and then washing her spoon.
“Think about it,” she said, patting my shoulder before exiting the kitchen and leaving me to my thoughts. What did she mean? I pondered while munching my pasta until someone came to use the microwave to reheat some sort of fish thing and I had to leave or gag on the rest of my lunch. Why were people like that?
––––––––
ISPENT THE REST OFmy day alternately worrying about Vegas and thinking about what Jessika had said. Did she mean pay attention to Emma? Pay attention to the legal ramifications? Both? I wanted to ask Emma to help me figure it out, but I didn’t want her to know I’d told someone what we’d done. So I was stuck relying on my own brain to figure it out.
I stared at the time clock and punched out as soon as I could to race to the train so I could get to Vegas. I was meeting Emma so we could take him home together.
I beat her to the doggie daycare, but I waited until she came in through the door, her hair blowing all around her with the wind, before going inside.
“Sorry, sorry, I got stuck in study group. Let’s go get him,” she said, and I wanted to grab her hand again. I’d had that urge more and more lately and I had no idea what it meant.
