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“Nope. No one’s dead. We’re just a little bit married.”
Two
“You’re fucking kiddingme,” Nova said, as Emma and I stared at the certificate of our marriage. My signature was a little messy, but it was definitely mine. We also found a little bag of gifts from the wedding chapel we’d gone to (which was right behind the hotel), including two cheap rings that looked as if they’d been pulled out of a vending machine.
“Maybe it’s a joke certificate?” Nova questioned. “I mean, I'm sure they print those, right?”
“Looks pretty real to me,” I said.
“Yup, it’s real all right,” Emma said, holding her phone up. She had the website of the chapel up on her phone and there we were, holding each other like we were at a high school prom and laughing our asses off.
“I mean, you’re impulsive, but this is next level, Callyn, Jesus,” Emma said, pacing the living room area, one hand tangling through her hair.
“Um, excuse me? Why is this my fault? I don’t remember what the fuck happened, how do you know it was my idea?” I threw my hands up and sat on the couch. How had this happened? Why couldn’t I remember anything? This couldn’t have been my idea. Most of my impulses were to do things like order pizza at three in the morning, or go drive up a mountain and watch the sun rise. Not marriage. Nothing like that.
“Well, it wasn’tmyidea,” Emma said, pivoting to face me.
“It wassomeone’sidea, because you’ve got this shiny certificate here,” Nova said, waving the paper in the air. She had a look on her face as if she wanted to laugh, but was holding back. Right now, this didn’t seem all that funny. Maybe in a few hours it would. Right now, all I could feel was shock and panic.
“Look, it’s no big deal, I’m sure this happens all the time. You can just get it annulled,” Nova said. “I’m sure it’s a simple process. Come on, let’s go end this weekend right.” I looked at Emma and sighed. There was nothing to be done about it now. Nova rolled up the certificate and handed it to me.
“Fine,” Emma said, getting up. “I guess we’ll figure it out later.”
“I thought I was going to go home with a sunburn and maybe some extra cash from the casinos. But no, I’m coming home with a wife.” Emma gave me a look.
“What, too soon?” I said, bopping her on the head with our marriage certificate.
I thought about not telling our friends about the whole marriage fiasco, but that didn’t last when we walked back into the suite we’d been staying in.
“So, we got married,” I said, unfurling the certificate. Emma sighed beside me. They’d been lounging around in the common area, drinking mimosas, but at my announcement, they all stood up and rushed over.
“You did what now?” Lara, the bride-to-be asked.
“I thought we weren’t going to talk about it yet, but yes, we apparently left you all last night and got married,” Emma said, glaring at me for a moment.
“We didn’t agreenotto talk about it. I mean, I couldn’t keep something like this to myself and you know that.” I could definitely keep my mouth shut when it came to protecting people, or telling white lies, but this wasn’t the kind of thing I could hold in for long. Plus, Nova probably would have said something to her girlfriend Sammi, and then Sammi would have told. Sammi wasn’t the best one with secrets, that was for sure, bless her.
