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Lavinia’s eyebrows raised. “How did you know?”
It was his turn to shrug. “I overheard you discussing it at the rout the other night.”
She nodded. “I have many interests outside of being a countess.” If her words rang with a touch of defense, she had every right.
“And so you should.” He touched her free hand with his. “Never be ashamed of that. Use your title and reach to expand your work.”
“See, Lavinia, how he is almost tip over tail for you?” Angela’s laughter was much like being spoken to by the gods. When a flush of heat crept up his neck, her grin widened. “He is adorable.” When he cleared his throat, she continued. “I run an agency that matches unwanted and abandoned children with prospective parents.”
Shocked rolled over him. “Is there a need for those services?”
“There are many couples in London who cannot conceive for whatever reason, Your Lordship.” Her voice was soft, melodious. “Some who feel uncomfortable talking about their shortcomings. As well, there are many women in Town who bear children and cannot care for them. I match them, research the couples for a fee, before the transactions are allowed to come to close.”
“That is an impressive feat, Miss Thompson.” When he thought about the story Lavinia had told him early in their marriage that had made her sob with high emotion, his throat closed again. He gripped his teacup more tightly. “You have come to this pass because you used to be what Lavinia was as well?”
“No.” The look she bestowed on her sister brimmed with gratitude. “Never was I required to earn a living on my back, for Lavinia made certain of it.” Her chin trembled. “She and I are extremely fortunate. Our father may be a marquess and we share his blood, but neither of us were ever thrown in the gutter or left to the fates. Our mother raised us the best she could between protectors. Her favorite by far was our father, and when he refused to acknowledge our existence, raise us with his legitimate children, she never left us.”
Lavinia nodded. “She was the youngest daughter of a viscount, and no, she wasn’t the best mother, but she loved us in her way. I never wanted such a life for my sister.”
“So you took it upon yourself to finish raising Angela, to keep her safe from men who would use her… as they’ve used you,” he said in a small, tight voice, for he had done her that great dishonor. In that old thinking, he hadn’t thought of her as a woman with a life beyond what she did for him behind a closed bedchamber door.
And that was a mistake, for the more he discovered about her and her sister, the more fascinating she became, and he’d missed out on that over the last year.
Lavinia laid her teacup on the table. “Angela is the future. Her star shines bright. I had to protect that. Especially now that her muscles fail her. It would be all too easy for a man to take advantage.”
“Yes, I suppose it would.” His heart ached from the goodness in hers. “I had no idea.” He shook his head. “It’s admirable, of course, but why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know if I could trust you, Laughton.” She shrugged. “You must admit, you were a mess when we first married.”
“I’ll give you that.” Percival rubbed a hand along the side of his face. “Are there other secrets regarding the pair of you I’ll need to know going forward?”
Angela snickered while Lavinia wiped surreptitiously at her eyes. “There was a time very recently when Lavinia was poised to join me at the agency before she wed.”
“What?” His belly hurt as if he’d been given a punch to the gut as he stared at his wife. “You had planned to quit your role as my mistress?” What would have become of him had she gone through with those plans? Would he be, even now, lying on his death bed due to a pickled liver, or worse, married to the virginal Lady Eleanor?
Lavinia shrugged. “I had thought about it, yes, but in the end, I thought you needed me more. There will always be other times I can join Angela if I so desire.”
A wave of hot panic rose in his chest. He thrust his half-empty teacup toward the table, not caring that it didn’t land completely upright. Spilled tea spread over the wood. “You would have left me.” It wasn’t a question. If she had contemplated it once, would she do so again? Did he mean nothing to her at all, even after the strides they’d made together?
“Laughton, settle.” She took one of his hands, and when he would have pulled away, she tightened her grip. “You must understand that a woman in my former position would have acquired many avenues of income and diversification for herself to secure her own future.” Sadness pooled in her eyes. “Looks and carnal skill don’t last forever. This was a cause close to my heart, a way that I could perhaps atone for past decisions.”
The tiny waver in her voice nearly brought him low. “And now?” The question was couched in a barely audible voice, for he was about to come apart from the force of the emotions roiling through his body.
“I still champion my causes. Nothing will change that.”
“Then you feel your future isn’t secure even though you married me?” The panic rose to engulf him, sneaked into his throat with the intent to choke him. It was cloying and claustrophobic, as if the walls were closing in around him. After everything, she would leave him if she felt London’s waifs needed her more?
“That’s not what I said.”
“I must have some air.” As Percival rose, he shook off Lavinia’s hand. “Please keep an eye on Deborah. Excuse me.” Then he stumbled from the room as the cloud of emotions beset him. They pressed down on him as he pelted down the stairs and dashed along the corridor until her burst from the townhouse.
He welcomed the cool rain on his face as he moved toward the wrought iron gate at the end of the short walkway. Would he lose his wife when he’d only just discovered how much she was coming to mean to him? If she grew tired of him, would she toss him to the side, leave his life as his first wife had done, as his daughter had as well?
I will be alone, and I am not strong enough for that.
“Percival!” Of course his wife would come after him. That she had betrayed the fact she might care for him, and he shook from the yearning of such a truth. “Percival, please wait.”
“Go away.” He waved a hand at her but kept his back to her. The rain seeped into his clothing, ran beneath his cravat to wet his neck. “You will leave me like they all have.”
