AllFreeNovel
Share Us
As they passed a stout oak tree, a sheet of paper tacked to the trunk caught her eye, mostly for the colorful drawing of a hot-air balloon. “What’s this?” She left Benedict’s side and approached the tree to better read the hand-lettered sign. “Bah! It’s naught but an advertisement for the detestable Mr. Davies.” She narrowed her eyes on the sign. “’Come to London and watch the daring balloonist Mr. Davies complete a flight over the whole of Town to land on the grounds of Carlton House. Sure to provide many delights to the crowd. Entertainment will follow his successful landing. The Regent will be in attendance.’”
“Well, that’s unfortunate.” His arm brushed hers as he joined her at the tree. “It’s a little presumptuous of him to assume anything at this point.”
“Agreed.” She curled one of her hands into a fist. “All the more reason to put him in his place in three days.” When her spleen required further venting, she ripped the advertisement from the tree, balled it up, threw it on the ground, and then stomped upon it until it was flattened into the dirt and grass.
A pox upon Mr. Davies!
“If anyone can do it, you can.” When he turned his head and caught her gaze, heat jumped into her cheeks, for he was rather intense. “We have plenty of time to make certain everything is perfect.”
“It already is.” Her mind jumped again to that tryst in the hayloft and how he’d made her feel. She didn’t want that coupling to change the relationship they currently enjoyed, but how could it not? He looked at her as if she were the most wonderful creature he’d ever seen, and though it flattered her to some extent, it also frightened her.
I don’t want to exist on a pedestal in his world.
A slow grin curved his sensuous lips, and she forgot herself enough to stare at his mouth. “I agree. However, the key to risk management demands we check and double check all the data and numbers.”
Though he was adorable in his support of her, she couldn’t afford to be distracted. But she nodded because his logic was sound. “Agreed.”
“Come. Let’s continue our stroll.” He took possession of her hand and threaded it through his bent elbow. As he led her away from the tree, Anne concentrated on looking about the fair that went on all about them instead of letting her thoughts linger on Benedict and how well his body had felt sliding over hers. “Don’t you ever feel lonely living in your own world or swimming against the current?”
Anne frowned. What an odd question. “Perhaps at times, but don’t you feel remotely powerless while living and dancing attendance in a world created by someone else?”
“I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about it.” He nodded to a couple who passed and greeted him by his title. “But I can see your point of view. Living by the rules dictated by our society is stifling at times. They allow almost no wiggle room and little forgiveness.”
“Exactly, so why do you do it?”
He shrugged. “Because it’s what’s always been done. Especially for men who hold titles.”
“Yet you’ve managed to buck tradition thus far by avoiding marriage or starting a family.” The viscount was a study in contrasts whether he realized it or not.
“I suppose that’s true, though up this a point, I hadn’t found a woman who interested me in that way. Nor did I think any were a good fit for my life.”
“Then why did you feel compelled to offer for me the other day? We’ve known each other for perhaps a week, and a tryst doesn’t make a lifetime.” The problem with Benedict was that he was a noble sort, but she wanted her freedom more than she wanted to fall back on tradition or everything that entailed.
“It was the honorable thing to do. At the time,” he added and again, he turned his head and looked at her. Emotions clouded his eyes, but she couldn’t read them.
“Ah, does that mean you’ve come around to my way of thinking?” If so, why did a flutter of cold disappointment weave through her chest?
“No, it merely means I’m intelligent enough to know when to pick my battles.”
Well, drat. That only made her curiosity flare, but before she could question him further, he spoke again.
“I believe we were speaking of you.” One of his dark eyebrows rose above the rim of his spectacles. “You need to stop spending so much time by yourself, Anne. It’ll make you a hermit before long.”
This rather sounded like a lecture and coming hard on the heels of the one she’d just heard from his mother, it rankled. Annoyance rose in her chest. “Why? I have everything I need in my life already. More people around me won’t change that.”
“Because having a special someone in your life will make you happy. I’ve been around you enough to see that when you think no one is looking, you let grief and sadness take over.”
“What gammon.” Was she so easy to read then? “I’m happy with my work and my ballooning.”
Benedict huffed in apparent annoyance. “You’re missing my point. Happiness from being around another human, whether it’s a sibling, a friend, or a lover, is much different than what you can find by doing things, of immersing yourself into a hobby or an occupation that allows you an escape… or to hide.” He drew them to a halt, went so far as to briefly cup her cheek. “I think at times you are so involved in what you’re doing in any given moment that you forget this.”
She tamped the trembles moving up her spine, for his touch set her at sixes and sevens more than it should. If she were honest with herself, she did feel exponentially happier when in his company, but she refused to let herself think about the ramifications of that or what it might mean. Becoming too fond of a man would distract her from her true purpose, from her promise to her brother, would delay the contributions she could make to her field…
…yet, would those achievements be as wonderful if she didn’t have anyone to share them with? Ever since the death of her brother—the one person she’d shared ballooning with—everything she’d done, though impressive, had felt rather… flat.
Would they feel enhanced or even more fulfilling if Benedict remained in her life for longer than funding her upcoming flight for the wager?
With a start, she realized he stared at her. “Perhaps I am hiding. But can you blame me for that?” When she grew agitated, he took her hand and again threaded it through his bent arm. His close proximity brought both a modicum of calm and a wave of awareness. “Reality is, at times, quite hideous, fraught with frustration and sadness. Neither of those things will propel me to where I want to go.”
