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“I don’t want you to leave me.”
“Of course I won’t. So why did you feel the need to cause such a scene?”
Never one to fade from the center of attention, her mother’s next words brought heat to Lynette’s cheeks. “You’re letting Lord Tilbury chase you again. I saw the way you looked at him on the dance floor.” She shook her head. “You know what happened the last time.”
Despite their audience, Lynette huffed out a breath of frustration. How embarrassing. “Last time it was my fault. Things are different now.” Lord, she hoped that were true, but she felt it in her soul that Stephen was a good man, and she was ready for all that a life with him might entail.
“Ha!” Her mother waved a bony finger in censure. “I don’t trust that man; he’s quite the rogue. And with you a widow and my... precarious financial situation, we don’t need another problem on our hands as you’d have if you gave him another chance.”
Stephen scoffed. “Lady Ruddick, if you’ll but listen to what I have to say,” he began, annoyance heavy in his voice.
Oh, this would turn into an argument and quickly if she didn’t do something. Lynette turned to him. “Please, let me talk to her alone.” She glanced at the remainder of the party. “I appreciate the support, but this is something I need to do by myself.”
The duchess nodded. She linked her arm through Stephen’s while he uttered a short protest. “As you wish, dear. Call for one of us if you need assistance.”
“I will.” Lynette watched the four of them exit the room, before releasing the sigh building in her throat. She rested her gaze on her mother. “Mama, what happens between Lord Tilbury and me is private, but please don’t think I’ll abandon you. Why would you even say such a thing?”
Her mother sniffed, clearly indignant. “You did when you married before.”
“John was in the navy. I had no choice except to go where he did so I’d be near port when he came home.” Her cheeks heated. Perhaps it had felt to her mother like abandonment. “Then we settled in Surrey because that’s where he owned property. Near his parents’ cottage, though they’re no longer living.”
“You chose him over me.”
Oh, she would have to be impossible to the very last. “I didn’t, but I was his wife, and my first duty lay with him and then our son, yet I came back here as much as I was able.” She twisted her fingers in her skirt. “Surely you know that.”
“Do I? And now here you are, contemplating yet another relationship, and one which will see you gone away again.” Her mother sniffed, still in high dudgeon.
“If you’re intent on being miserable, I suppose you will be regardless of what I do.” She frowned. “Don’t you think I know my own mind enough that I can make smart decisions for my future? For my son’s future?”
“Not when you’re tarrying with that man. I don’t want him for you.”
“The sad truth is, you don’t want anyone for me due to selfish reasons.” Tears welled in her eyes. She could either find love and happiness again, or she could play nurse and servant to her mother. Both options meant the loss of someone close to her. “Mama, since there is nothing wrong with your heart, I suggest you square with the fact I’m still in love with Lord Tilbury. I believe my future is with him, so you’ll need to understand that where he goes, so will I.” Oh dear. She’d said those words aloud, and if that wasn’t the true state of her heart, she didn’t know what was. But a calming peace flowed over her.
Yes, it felt right, but would Stephen agree after this sordid drama?
Her mother pulled a handkerchief bordered in black lace from her sleeve. “Always following a fickle heart. What will become of me?” Though she went through the motions of sobbing, there was no trace of moisture on her wrinkled cheeks.
“I’m certain we can find solutions.”
“Ungrateful girl.” Now the tears came, but Lynette suspected they were naught but the crocodile variety.
Cold gooseflesh popped on her skin. “Please tell me you don’t merely want me with you to help bring in coin to save you and Birch House.” Was her mother that calculating?
“No, of course not.” Yet she dropped her gaze. “I...”
Lynette grabbed one of her mother’s hands even as her heart broke from the slight betrayal. “I need love in my life, Mama. Don’t you want me happy? Don’t I deserve that?”
“Yes, but what about me? I have no one else.”
“You refuse to leave Birch House, so the fault rests on you.” Lynette sighed. Her mother was stubborn and would prove a stumbling block to the future.
“Why should I? It’s my home. Always has been, and my connection to your father.” There was nothing in her eyes except scheming. “I’m not leaving now because you want a man sniffing at your skirts.”
Her heart squeezed painfully, for the tentative dreams she’d allowed to bloom while dancing with Stephen died as they encountered her mother’s unrelenting frost. Frustration took hold, and panic rose in her chest. Would she lose him a second time due to circumstances out of her control? Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “You won’t change your mind?”
“No, I won’t. Your duty is to your mother. Where it should always be.”
What of being true to myself?Yet how could she leave her mother to the proverbial wolves? With a sigh, she nodded. A weight pressed on her chest so heavy she could scarcely breathe. “I promise not to do anything until you’re settled, and Birch House isn’t at disaster’s door.”
