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“Fair enough. Did you talk about that?”
“No.” Stephen tugged again at the knot of his cravat. “I’m afraid I took that as a sign she didn’t want to marry me. I accused her of wanting to sabotage our relationship, of not wanting to do the duty to my title with me. So, she threw a shoe at my head, told me I didn’t understand her at all. That she refused to be left with a bevy of children while I cavorted through society as was my wont.” A shuddering sigh escaped him. “She vowed she would never marry me, and she stormed out, much like she did tonight.” He shrugged. “I’ve not been back at Ivy Castle since then. How could I when it was the backdrop to our starting the engagement?”
“Ah.” Griffin nodded. “She was the reason you’ve been reluctant to come here.”
“Yes, among other things, but from the gossip, she now lives in Surrey where she’d kept a cottage with her husband—a man she married quickly enough following our break. A man she had a child with directly after marrying. A child she didn’t want with me,” he finished in a broken whisper as his chest ached from the confession. “Obviously, she must have found fault with me, but I’ll not know for certain.”
Compassion lined Griffin’s expression. “Do you retain romantic feelings for her? Is that why you’ve never come up to scratch with another woman?”
“It’s doubtful. Perhaps I do for the girl she once was, but we are not those people any longer.” Yet that didn’t stop hot regret from sliding through his gut. Had they talked through the disagreement, would they even now enjoy marriage?
Gah, it was torture to keep second-guessing what had happened.
“I understand, yet deep down, I think you might carry a torch for her.” When Stephen huffed, his brother rushed on. “There’s nothing wrong with that. She was the first woman you’d ever given your heart to—”
“—and she smashed it beneath her heel,” he couldn’t help interrupting.
“Yes, well, you both have tempers, which mean emotions run deep.” Griffin settled an intense look upon him that reminded him of their father. “Don’t discount that until you examine how you truly feel apart from the anger.” He cast a glance about the room, and when his gaze connected with Nora, he smiled. In that one moment, Stephen wished he had what his brother did. “Mother says the baron’s widow is destitute. Wasn’t left well off by her husband—Lynette’s father. I guess there’s a distant cousin of his to whom the property now belongs, but he’s an absentee landowner. Hasn’t been here for an age. Doesn’t care, I guess, if Birch House is lost to unpaid taxes.”
Shock hit Stephen in the gut with the force of a blow. “That’s terrible. I wasn’t aware circumstances were so dire. What will they do?”
“I have no idea. Lucy mentioned something about Lynette being a cake lady.”
He frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Lucy had it from Lynette’s son—they’ve become friends earlier today—that Lynette sells baked goods back home. She means to do it through the holidays here to raise coin for that first installment of taxes as well as other expenses.” Griffin shrugged. “I don’t know how feasible that will be since she and her mother are now at Ivy Castle through the duration of the house party.”
“You assume, but after tonight, perhaps that will change.” Twin threads of guilt and concern twisted down Stephen’s spine. “It’s a rough go to be sure. Baron Ruddick has always owned the property neighboring this one. No doubt Lynette’s husband’s pension won’t be of much help.”
“I assume not. She has her own life in Surrey. I rather doubt she’ll linger here.”
The whole story smacked of a bad Drury Lane production, but it played on his compassion and his old friendship with the young widow. “Perhaps I should talk to her. It is Christmastide, after all. Past time to mend fences and all that.” Good Lord, why should he take the chance when she’d no doubt reject his overture again?
“You’re a nodcock, Stephen. Don’t make it worse. Leave her be. You need to take back the reins of your life and move forward.”
“That’s much of what Letty said to me yesterday.” He couldn’t help a sigh. “I don’t want to see her and Lady Ruddick tossed into the gutter, even if she’s a waspish sort, but I also don’t wish for Lynette to struggle because of her mother’s reduced circumstances.”
“Ah, so you have grown as a person.” Griffin flashed a grin. “I’m impressed.”
“Yes, well, it’s a process.” He rubbed a hand along his jaw. “You say she’s got a son?”
“Yes. A seven-year-old. Goes by the name of John. No doubt it was his father’s name.”
Stephen’s chest tightened once more, and his heart squeezed with longing. “If we’d been married, I wonder if we would have had a family...”
“Don’t linger in the past or its missteps, brother. No good can come of it.” Griffin clapped a hand on Stephen’s shoulder again. “Instead, forge a path in the here and now. Find a woman to court during the holidays. Or, perhaps fate has given you an opportunity to fix the mistakes you’ve made with Lynette. Either way, you mustn’t guard your heart against hurt, for that is no way to live.”
A snort escaped him. “You’re so wise because you’re engaged?” Annoyance stabbed through his chest. How dare his brother lecture him on matters of romance?
The corners of Griffin’s lips tipped upward in a grin. “No, but now that I know what being truly happy and content is like, I want the same for you—my twin and best friend.”
Another round of emotion welled, and Stephen blinked away the damning moisture. “Thank you.”
“Don’t let jealousy or bitterness drive a wedge between us, and don’t let regret do the same with you and Lynette.” He lowered his voice as Nora approached. “If there is no romance there any longer, at least you might have a friend. Everyone needs that. Especially at this time of the year. Whatever happens, I wish you good luck and hope you’ll completely heal that wound.”
Stephen nodded, for he couldn’t trust his voice at the moment. When Nora reached them, he mumbled an excuse and retreated to the far end of the drawing room to recover.
His brother was right. Until he repaired the ills between him and Lynette, he couldn’t find any such contentment for himself.
But how to do that when she apparently still loathed the sight of him?
