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Julie sat up and watched him, nervously clutching a bed sheet to her chin.
“Don’t worry,” he said, putting on his trousers. “I’m not going to touch you.” He collected his remaining clothing and moved toward his adjoining room.
“But… what about—” She swallowed, looking distressed.
“Don’t worry about that either.” With these words, Robert left the room.
He closed the door and stood for several moments, leaning his back against it. He wanted to laugh out loud at his luck.Open revulsion is better than pretend admiration,he remembered himself saying. What an idiot. If he only knew. Good thing he hadn’t broken off his association with Vanessa during his bout of pure stupidity. If he had, he’d have to look for a new mistress on the heels of his marriage. He only wished Vanessa would be with them in Doncaster, not here in London.
He laughed bitterly to himself. It was a good thing all his naïve dreams about a family and a loving wife were broken by now. If they weren’t, today would have served him a good hard blow.
* * *
Robert tapped his foot impatiently the next morning as he stood next to the loaded carriage, waiting for his wife. She was late, as per usual. The last servants’ carriage had rolled away from the house a few minutes ago, and if Julie didn’t appear soon, they would have to cut their stops short during the journey. Something Robert didn’t wish to do. He was about to stalk up the steps and get his wife himself when the front door opened, and Julie stepped onto the porch, a small valise in her hands.
Robert breathed a sigh of relief. “Everything is ready for us to leave,” he said and stretched out a hand toward her. Since the fiasco that was their wedding night, he hadn’t seen her and couldn’t quite meet her gaze.
Instead of taking his hand, Julie indecisively hovered on the steps. Robert was forced to raise his eyes to hers.
“Good morning,” she mumbled
“Are you ready to get into the carriage?” Robert asked impatiently.
“Yes.” She nodded for emphasis and took a tentative step toward him. The footman took her valise from her and loaded it on top of their carriage, while Robert helped her up into it. He was about to close the door when she stopped him, putting a hand on it.
“Careful, you could be left without an arm if I shut the door with your hand on it,” he said emotionlessly.
“You are not riding with me?” she asked, her brows drawn together in confusion.
“I’ll be out on horseback.” He indicated his saddled mare.
“I hoped—” Julie took a long breath. “I hoped we could talk,” she finally said.
“It’s a long journey, My Lady,” he said coldly, “We’ll have plenty of time to talk.”
“We—” She swallowed. It seemed to him that his wife had a great deal of trouble getting out her words. He quirked his brow impatiently. “We are still going to get Mary, yes?”
Robert’s brows drew together in a frown before he regarded her trembling lips, her wide eyes. She was frightened. She was afraid that he would renege on their deal since she didn’t hold up her end of the bargain last night.
“I made a deal, didn’t I?” he said coldly. “Never question my integrity again.”
He could see she wanted to say something more, but he had no more patience for her. He shut the door and mounted his horse. The journey to York was going to take about four endless days. He didn’t mind long trips, he often traveled from one of his estates to another, and he had a lot to think about on the road ahead.
His miserable wife seemed distressed. She didn’t think him a man of his word, on top of not wanting to have anything to do with him. An excellent choice, he scolded himself. Perhaps in time, she’d warm up to him, and they’d be able to at least start working on an heir. A childless future did not look appealing to Robert. He’d always wanted children, to have someone to love, to teach, to act as his father never did toward him. He understood his own father’s emotional limitations. It wasn’t his fault. He also knew that Rutland loved him in his own way. But after his mother’s death, all the love Rutland was capable of had died with her.
Perhaps, having the loving relationship he dreamed of as a youth was too much to hope for. Could he hope to have a simple ton marriage? Without her sleeping around with other men, that was. She didn’t seem eager to hold up one deal she’d made with him. What made him think she’d hold up the other? He looked inside the carriage through the window. Julie was staring blankly at the book she pretended to read. He knew she wasn’t really reading because every time he looked at her, she had the same thoughtful expression on her face, and she hadn’t turned the page once. Occasionally, she would look out at the scenery and then turn her head back to the book.
They stopped twice to change the horses and have some refreshments before finally stopping for the night at an inn. Robert booked separate rooms for them and supper in a private dining room. Julie had mentioned she wanted to speak to him, but they hadn’t had an opportunity to do so before now. They had always been in the company of other travelers when they rested during the day.
Their supper was set at nine in the evening when the sun was setting outside the inn walls. Several candles were lit to brighten the room. The table was set for two, and the intimate atmosphere was almost romantic. Julie wore a simple rose-colored dress, buttoned up to her neck, with flaring sleeves at her shoulders. Her wet hair was swept up in a simple bun. She looked lovely, innocent even. Her rosy, lush lips curled in a timid smile as she sat across from him.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, or rather, Robert ate, and Julie just chased the food with her fork about the plate.
“Not hungry?” He raised a brow at her, watching her intently.
A nervous giggle escaped her. “I’m nervous,” she said on an exhale. “I’ve been thinking all day what I am going to say to Mary once I see her.” She shook her head. “I haven’t come up with a single thing.”
So that’s why she’d been quiet and out of sorts all day. Robert nodded mutely.
