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“Touch her one more time,” she said ominously, “and next time, it won’t be your leg.”
She extended the one side of her walking cane to Julie. Julie grabbed it like a lifeline and was immediately pulled by the dowager to her feet.
Julie started beating at her skirts and straightening them as she got up. Her hands were shaking, her breathing was heavy, and she didn’t want the dowager to see her tears and quivering lips. She bit her lower lip hard, but sobs kept escaping her.
“Come, child,” the dowager said in the soft tone of voice she only used to address Mary.
She took her by the arm and led her to the back entrance of the house. Julie still shook and sobbed all the way.
“And you,” the dowager threw over her shoulder, “I expect you to leave these premises before dawn.”
They made the rest of the way in silence. The dowager led Julie to her sitting room. She sat her in the chair by the fire and brought her a glass of wine. This was the first time Her Grace, the Dowager Duchess of Rutland, had brought anything to anyone. She didn’t even wait on Mary.
“Are you all right?” she asked in her usual stern voice. This harsh voice helped Julie pull herself together. She sipped the wine and nodded her head.
“I’m sorry I—”
“Disobeyed me, disregarded my advice, invited the snake in against my wishes?” Julie nodded mutely, looking down at her glass. “Well, you’ve learned your lesson, haven’t you?”
Julie placed her wine glass on the floor next to her chair and looked straight into the dowager’s eyes.
“You should have told me the truth.” She said evenly. “Whatever the truth was. You knew something about Eric. Enough to spy on him, or me. But you still haven’t told me a thing.”
“What I know wasn’t enough to suspect he’d assault you. And it’s not for me to tell, Julie, it’s for Robert.”
“Well, he’s not here, is he?” Julie bit her lip and looked away, confident that the dowager had seen the agony and hurt on her face. “He’s in London,” she said more quietly.
“Don’t listen to what Eric said,” the dowager said more softly.
“How can I not?” Julie asked, hardly above a whisper. She closed her eyes. Not that she blamed him. She opened her eyes to see the dowager regarding her curiously.
“You care for him,” she said rather than asked.
Julie stared mutely at the dowager’s face.
“Why didn’t you say anything to him?”
Julie bit her lip and looked away again. “It’s a marriage of convenience. He doesn’t owe me anything.”
“Nonsense,” came the dowager’s stern reply. “I happen to know something about marriages of convenience. I’ve had one myself.” She said in a quieter tone. Julie turned back to her and regarded her curiously.
“You did?” she asked in a daze. Not surprised at a revelation, more astonished that the dowager was willingly sharing information about her past.
“I was in love with another man.” The dowager was nodding her head, her gaze concentrated on something behind Julie’s back. It’s as if she was looking at her distant past. “Just like you. But unlike you, I had a choice. I could have married the man I loved, but I chose the title over him.” She turned her face back to Julie. “I thought that is what you did too. I thought, you cared nothing for my grandson, and I resented you for that.” She cleared her throat delicately. “And maybe that’s exactly how it started for you, but I can see it now that you truly care for him.” She continued after a brief pause. “And he cares for you.”
Julie lowered her gaze to the hands she clasped in her lap. “I don’t think he does,” she mumbled. “We—He—He hadn’t come to my bed since we got married. I know it’s my fault. And then he left for London after we—” she paused and laughed bitterly. She was about to tell the dowager about the kiss she still dreamed about. The one that drove Robert away from her and into his mistress’s arms. She felt tears scalding the back of her eyes. His betrayal hurt beyond words. She licked her parched lips before speaking again. “I don’t believe he cares for me. He left us here, didn’t he?”
The dowager stood up and patted her on her shoulder. “I know, child. But the worst thing you can do is bury all those feelings inside of you. Don’t repeat my mistake. Don’t be too prideful to confront him with your feelings.”
Julie felt all strength leave her. She needed to pull herself together and take her family to London. She worried she didn’t have enough fortitude left for that.
