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Chapter 15
Robert finished his meal shortly after that and went to check-up on Mary. Mary’s disposition brightened immensely once he gave her a bracelet he’d bought her during his first days in London and told her some stories from town. He promised they’d go to the theater, the gardens, the park, and many other places together as soon as she got better. Mary immediately informed him that shewasbetter, making him laugh. He kissed her on the forehead and left her slumbering in peace. With at least one female in his life appeased, he went into his wife’s room.
Julie was standing by the window in her dressing gown. She turned as he walked in and regarded him warily.
“I checked on Mary just now,” he said, deciding to break the ice. “She seems well.”
Julie nodded. “Yes, I’ve read to her after supper, and I think she feels much better than this morning. I hope she gets even better before the ball, although we won’t be able to stay too long. And she’d need new gowns, accessories.” Julie looked up at the ceiling, biting on her lip, contemplating the expenses and all the hassle getting ready for a ball will bring.
“I have enough funds. You can buy whatever she needs. And whatever you need.”
She shook her head. “I still have my trousseau almost untouched.”
“I feel you weren’t in a celebrating mood when you were ordering your trousseau. Perhaps for Mary’s ball, you’d want something different.”
Julie let out a strangled chuckle as she met Robert’s gaze. Her eyes dancing in merriment. Robert smiled, remembering hermourningwedding dress.
Julie sobered quickly, though, and said in a stern tone of voice. “I imagine you are not planning on accompanying us to the shops and the modiste.” She paused, looking at him intently. “Mary kept asking for you during your absence.”
Robert closed his eyes and nodded. “I know. I deeply regret that happened. And I will. Accompany you, that is.”
“Good.” Julie turned back to the window.
“Is that all?” Robert frowned at his wife’s back.
Julie took a deep breath and clenched her hands into fists by her side.
Robert cleared his throat and moved closer to the window. “I need to tell you something. About what I’ve been doing in London before you arrived.” He needed to tell her about the plans they’ve made with Tule. He needed her to understand that if they’d go through with it, they would be ruined. Not just Mary, but Julie as well. He made a few steps toward his wife when she spoke.
“Is it about your mistress?” came her almost whisper.
“My miss—What?” Robert halted mid-stride; his head shot up in surprise.
Julie still wouldn’t look at him.
“How—What are you talking about?”
“I know you spent all those nights with your mistress,” Julie said to the window before she finally turned and regarded him squarely in his eyes. “I know you went to London to her. You came home looking—debauched and smelling of her perfume—” Julie’s lower lip quivered as if she were holding herself from bursting into tears. “You’ve spent all those nights with her when we needed you here.”
“I didn’t go to London just to see her—” he started and saw as Julie lowered her lashes and bit her lip, looking like a vulnerable child. He wanted to gather her up and cuddle her. He wanted to kiss her and soothe all her worries, to tell her he didn’t need any mistress, only her. But she didn’t want that. She loathed his touch. Only her pride was bruised. At that, he lost his composure. “Why do you care, anyway?” Robert said, irritated.
“Why do I care?” Julie regarded him with eyes wide with surprise. “You were missing for days! I didn’t know whether you were alive or if something had happened to you.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Mary was lying in bed, asking for you every blasted day! And when the doctor came—” she paused, and a sob tore from her body. She covered her mouth with her hand, unable to continue.
Robert closed his eyes in agony. He swallowed against what seemed like a boulder in his throat.
Julie took a deep breath before saying in a more stable voice. “We needed you here.Ineeded you. But you—” she trailed away as she shook her head and turned back to the window. A lone tear streaking her face. “The first thing you asked of me in our blasted deal,” she continued in a small voice, not looking at him, “was not to cuckold you.”
“You never asked the same of me,” he said quietly, the excuse sounding hollow to his own ears.
“Well, I am asking you now!” Julie cried as she whirled around on him.
“Fine!” Robert shouted in answer. “Fine, but do you think it is easy for me? Being close to you and—” he paused and closed his eyes. “You can’t expect me to wait for you forever.” He said more calmly.
“I was never asking for forever. Just a few weeks—”
“Well, the weeks have passed—”
“—and I came to you! And you sent me away. Instead of coming to me, you collected your belongings and went to your mistress!” Julie’s eyes were moving frantically from place to place, her lip was quivering, her chest heaving. She was clearly holding on to her tears.
