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Chapter 16
Julie woke up a little after dawn. She was very warm and comfortable, the back of her head and her back padded by something large and hot. She tried to move and noted the soreness between her legs. The memory of last night came flooding over her. She felt her skin heating in reaction.
She was extremely nervous last night to process any of it. First, she was angry and shaking from their confrontation about Robert’s mistress. Later, she became anxious for an entirely different reason. She was quaking so hard she thought she’d swoon. And then he kissed her, and all thought evaporated from her dazed mind.
Julie tried to wiggle out from under the covers only to realize that Robert’s arm was on her waist, pinning her to the bed and his chest. She should have felt trapped and uncomfortable in his firm hold, but she didn’t. She should feel embarrassed with the way she let Robert touch her last night, humiliated by the way he pushed his way inside her. But regardless of what happened the night before, she felt safe, protected in the circle of his arms.
Julie relaxed under his weight, leaning against him even more. She marveled at the comforting feel of her husband’s body around her. Lying in her husband’s embrace, she couldn’t quite reconcile what she was feeling. She was really and truly his wife now. A feeling of panic hit her, and she moved to get out from under her husband’s limbs once again.
“Mmm—” Robert groaned lightly, and his arm tightened around her. The backs of her thighs brushed against the front of his, her bottom grazing against his hardening length. Julie’s breaths grew frantic, whether from agitation or arousal, she wasn’t sure. He moved his hand to her breast, caressing her taut peak. Julie stifled the urge to moan. It felt surprisingly good. His hands gentle, his breath wafting against the nape of her neck. His aroused length hardening even more and moving slowly but rhythmically against the seam of her buttocks. Julie bit down on her lower lip.
Mrs. Darling had told her that husbands didn’t like it when their wives moved or made sounds in bed, but it was really difficult with Robert kissing her like he did last night or touching her as he was doing at the moment.
He moved his hand lower, pressing her closer to him, plastering her back even closer to his chest, caressing her body on his way, until he got to her center and cupped her there through the linen of her nightgown. Julie sucked in her breath and almost jumped in reaction. It felt so good she wanted to press herself firmer into his hand. A wanton thought if she ever had one. Her body heated to the fevered pitch. She felt liquid forming between her thighs, right where his hand was cupping her. She felt embarrassed, but it felt too good, lying there in her husband’s embrace, trapped between his hard body and his wicked hand.
The door opened at that moment, and a maid entered the room. She made her way to the unlit hearth with sure steps, not looking around. She obviously didn’t notice that there were two people in bed, not just one. The maid positioned herself in front of the hearth, back turned to the bed. But that was enough for Julie to come to her senses. She struggled her way out of her husband’s embrace and crawled out of bed, stumbling in her haste. Robert groaned and turned to his other side without waking up.
The maid turned and made an embarrassed yelp as she finally noticed Robert in her mistress’s bed. Julie was throwing on her dressing robe and turned as red as a beetroot, while the maid curtsied and hurried out of the room snickering. Julie shut her eyes. By mid-morning, every servant in the household would know where Robert spent the night.
Julie dressed hastily, without help from Alice. She put on her simplest gown, performed her morning ablutions, and went on with her day.
As was her custom, she checked on Mary first. She was peacefully sleeping, breathing steadily and occasionally murmuring in her sleep. Next, Julie checked on breakfast, conversed with Mrs. Post, made plans for the daily meals, and made a shopping list. Throughout all of that, she couldn’t help but think about what happened last night between Robert and her. Soreness between her legs reminded her of the way their relationship shifted, not that she needed a reminder.
The more she spent her morning alone, the more panic settled in the pit of her stomach. Regardless of the vows exchanged in the church, this was the moment she truly became Robert’s wife. The moment she let go of any hope of ever being with John again.
John. Her thoughts circled back to him rarer and rarer these days. And laying with her husband was the final act of betrayal toward John. She didn’t know how she felt about it. Her thoughts were frantic, her feelings a jumbled mess.
She was also nervous to see Robert. She didn’t know how he’d react to her. Did she please him? Was what she did sufficient for him to never go back to his mistress? That thought nagged in her brain despite her better judgment. What would Robert say to her? She tried to divert her thoughts from the night before, but she couldn’t.
All her worries were for naught, however. Besides a greeting and a smile, Robert didn’t look in her direction throughout the whole morning meal. He conversed with Mary most of the time, laughing at her displeasure when he talked about how he got to spend several days in London without them. The dowager interjected a few times with household issues. But she was mostly watching both Julie and Robert closely, as if she knew something went on between them the night before. Julie tried very hard to concentrate on her meal and act as if everything were normal, just like Robert did, but she had a feeling that she hadn’t succeeded. Every molecule in her body was on a different level of awareness of him. Her left arm felt over-warm just by sitting close to him, and she was sure she was blushing whenever he looked at her.
After breakfast, Robert had excused himself and left for the day, leaving both Julie and Mary disappointed by the lack of his company. Whether she liked it or not, her thoughts kept coming back to him. Mary was similarly riveted with Julie’s husband, and Julie couldn’t be more grateful that she got a strong male influence, at least for a little while in her life. Julie, however, would not let his strange behavior sour her mood. She spent most of the day with Mary, sitting with her, embroidering together with the dowager, reading. She managed some household chores while Mary was resting since she still wasn’t back to her full strength, but she mostly wanted to spend time with her little sister. The doctor’s horrible words and his ominous prognosis never fully leaving her mind.
Just before supper, Robert sauntered into the sitting room, where Julie was teaching Mary to play the piano. She abandoned the difficult pieces, and they were having fun playing bawdy tavern songs.
Robert came farther into the room and settled on the side of the piano, his loving gaze on Mary. “I have a surprise for you,” he said with a lazy smile. “I just spent the entire day in the Tattersalls. And guess what I got?”
“What?” Julie asked, shocked at the sudden announcement, her fingers falling off the piano keys. Tattersalls was a horse auction. There was only one thing Robert could have bought there.
“I bought you a pony, Mary,” Robert said with a wide smile. “Happy early birthday!”
Mary leaped up and ran the two steps required to reach her brother-in-law and hugged him fiercely.
“I promised you I’d buy you one, didn’t I?” Robert said, gently caressing the top of her head.
“Thank you! When can I ride it?” Mary turned her excited face to Julie.
“It’s not here yet, but I couldn’t wait to tell you. The pony will arrive in a sennight or so. And will need to be trained before you can ride it,” he said with a smile.
“Ride it?” Julie’s eyes widened. Mary was uncoordinated and completely unathletic. She had never been allowed to the horses on Norfolk estate.
“When?” Mary jumped up and down, holding on to Robert’s arms, in excitement, “I want to ride! When can I ride?”
Julie’s reservations about getting a pony disappeared at that moment. Mary was excited. She was happy. Julie would do anything to keep her little sister happy.
“Well, first, we need to order you riding habits,” Julie said with a smile. “You can’t as well ride a horse in your day dress. Let’s schedule a couple of appointments at the modiste.”
“Riding habit?” Mary frowned, thinking over the unfamiliar words.
