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And perhaps that was completely fine with Richard. Maybe the reason he’d started avoiding her was precisely that, to get her out of his mind before they went their separate ways. But Jo was not one to give up without a fight.
She didn’t expect marriage, of course. But at the very least, they could enjoy a year or two blissfully in love. Whatever happened after would happen after.
But Jo deserved at least a year or two of happiness. Didn’t she?
She turned toward Selena. “I think I shall retire early tonight.”
“I see your viscount is nowhere to be seen. Are you going to look for him?” Selena asked without looking at Jo.
Jo bit her lip. “No. I think I am just going to wait for him.”
Selena raised her brows. “Am I sensing a plan?”
Jo let out a soft chuckle. “You were right, Selena. Just because we are from different worlds and our paths will diverge sooner or later, doesn’t mean it has to happen now. Why do I have to suffer through life because eventually, I won’t get a happy ending? At least I can have a happy middle.”
“I am certain your viscount will make certain your middle is very happy.” Selena waggled her brows suggestively, and Jo couldn’t help but laugh.
“Are you going to be fine by yourself for the rest of the night?” Jo hadn’t left Selena for long, ever since that night when she’d wanted to leave the estate.
“I am not a child, Jo. Go and get your man. Tie him up if you have to,” she added with a wink.
Jo laughed, squeezed Selena’s hand, and then rushed out of the parlor. As exciting as the prospect of tying up Richard seemed to her, she decided to do the opposite.
She would unravel him. She would remove all the barriers between them and force him to face his feelings.
Perhaps after that, they could take turns tying each other up as they enjoyed each other’s bodies.
But first, the unraveling.
* * *
Richard stayed in the marquess’s study until the late hours of the night. He didn’t want to see anyone or socialize with anyone. He didn’t want to answer questions from his family, and most of all, he didn’t want to see the confused gaze on Jo’s face as he tried to avoid her.
He was a coward.
He would have to speak to her and end their relationship sooner rather than later. But he wanted to do it privately. And he didn’t want to spirit her away from the parlor, because he knew that would invite more gossip.
So he just sat there in the dark study battling with himself.
When had Jo lodged herself so firmly in his mind? He had never let himself get dragged emotionally into an affair. He rarely interacted with his lovers aside from their trysts, and yet with Jo, he couldn’t get enough of her.
He couldn’t get enough of her smiles or that twinkle in her eyes as she sparred with him. And he couldn’t get enough of her kisses.
Richard downed the glass of whisky and slammed it against the table. Tomorrow, he would find her and tell her that their affair was over. He prayed not to see the light dim in her eyes. He prayed that their liaison was just a game to her and the pain he’d seen in her eyes was just bruised pride. Because pride could be mended easily. Hearts, on the other hand, were a lot more fragile.
He walked slowly toward his room, listening to the sounds of merriment in the parlor. It seemed like the guests were playing some sort of a game. Was Jo playing with them? Was she enjoying herself? She was probably surrounded by gentlemen eager to have her in their beds. Richard’s fingers curled into fists.
He had no right to feel this way. He had no right to Jo. Not anymore.
He heaved a sigh and hurried his step. The faster he made it to his room and burrowed his head into a pillow, the sooner he would fall asleep and rid his mind of Jo.
Although she would invade his dreams again, he was certain. At least in his dreams, he would be able to indulge in her without guilt.
Richard reached his room and reluctantly turned the door handle. He loathed entering the dark, empty room lately. He hated that he had to sleep alone and not with Jo curled up by his side.
He would never know what that feeling was like.
He stepped inside and halted on the threshold. For one brief moment, he wondered if he’d entered the wrong chamber.
