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“Tonight,” Lavinia pleaded. She could see her friends’ worried faces, but she couldn’t stay another night here. “Please.”
Caroline nodded and stood. “Very well.”
She walked toward the door, and Lavinia dashed after her. “Caroline, wait.”
Caroline turned, her features expectant. Lavinia fiddled with her skirt, unable to meet her eyes. “I am sorry we drifted apart since your wedding to Dane.”
Caroline shook her head. “It is my fault. I was rather abrupt the last time we spoke.”
“Well, I wasn’t gentle either.” Lavinia finally looked up at Caroline as a nervous chuckle left her lips. “The truth is… I had this ridiculous idea that if I married Dane, I would somehow be happy, but it was never true. He loves me like a little sister, perhaps. He cares for me as a friend. But he would never love me as a wife. And knowing that, living with him and having that knowledge, would have crushed me. And I am glad you saved me from that fate. And I only hope thatyoucan be happy with him. You are, aren’t you?”
Caroline watched Lavinia carefully for a full minute, expressionless. Then she smiled, patted Lavinia on her hand, and walked away.
Lavinia turned back to Annalise and Victoria, feeling completely wretched. Victoria stood and slowly made her way toward her. “You will speak to my uncle, won’t you?”
Lavinia grimaced. “I don’t think that’s what he wants.”
“I do not care what he wants; that’s what he needs. You offended him. He is hurt. And not to sound egoistic, but I am afraid this will affect his mood when um… Well, my suitor decided to ask for permission to court me today.”
Lavinia’s heart lightened. At least there was some good news. “Oh, that’s wonderful! To tell you the truth, I was beginning to worry that that man was just dallying with you. I am so glad that he will finally speak to him.”
“Yes, he said he’ll do it today, but I am afraid Uncle will say no.”
Lavinia closed her eyes in agony.How many people will I hurt with my thoughtless acts?“Very well, I shall speak to him. But I am not certain that it will aid your cause.”
* * *
Sebastian galloped across the field in short intervals for over an hour. His horse was tired, his muscles hurt, and he was dripping with sweat. He finally dismounted and let his horse graze by itself as he sat down in the grass while his breath normalized.
He ran through the conversation he’d had with Lavinia millions of times in his head, and he couldn’t quite grasp what he was mad at.
He wasn’t mad at her. Because she was right. In the society they lived in, what choice did she or any other woman truly have than to ensnare a husband? English gentlemen often accused women of being mercenary, but it was either that or being poor and unprotected.
In the society they lived in, there wasn’t much choice for a woman. Unless, of course, she was a lucky one and managed to marry for love, and her love happened to be a man of means.
On the Continent, it was slightly different. Oh, there were still marriages of convenience, and the aristocracy still pursued marrying within their circle, but it seemed slightly different, nonetheless.
Divorce wasn’t impossible, and it didn’t effectively ruin a woman either. Hell, his cousin had divorced twice before marrying Victoria’s mother.
There was something about England, and how it treated its women, that made those women calculating and mercenary. Because otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to survive.
So, no. Sebastian was not mad at Lavinia but rather at society.
He wiped the sweat away from his face and studied the horizon. A lone horseman was moving swiftly toward him. Sebastian let out a groan. He didn’t want company. But he couldn’t as well run. So he sat there and waited for the lone rider’s approach.
If he were honest, and there was truly no reason to lie to himself, he wasn’t angry with the wretched English society either. He was mad at himself.
For what?That he couldn’t figure out, no matter how hard he tried.
The rider came closer, and Sebastian could finally make out his form.
William.
Sebastian stood and walked toward his friend. William jumped off the horse before it had the time to stop and swiftly walked toward Sebastian.
“Bastian, I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said with a grin.
Sebastian smiled. “Well, you’ve found me. What do you want?”
