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Chapter 19
Lavinia packed all her valises in a matter of minutes and was ready to leave. But the carriage wasn’t sprigged yet, and she had some time to spare. She’d already said her goodbyes to Victoria and Annalise. She’d even spoken to Mr. Townsend, who was nice enough to express his regrets about her untimely departure. But there was one person with whom she hadn’t spoken yet, and she was arguing with herself whether she should have sought him out or not.
Deep down, she knew that Victoria was right. She needed to speak to him. She owed him that. But she was too scared. Of what? She didn’t know.
She’d made a complete fool of herself with him, and she owed it to him to let him know of her defection. She couldn’t just disappear without a word.
And also she needed to apologize to him.
She wasn’t certain if it was her honorable side speaking, though. Because as much as she tried to convince herself that she was seeking him out for noble reasons, the truth was simpler.
She didn’t want to leave without seeing him again.
She didn’t want to leave with him thinking she was a mercenary, treacherous woman. She didn’t want to leave with him thinking that everything between them was a manipulation.
The truth of the matter was, she didn’t want to leave.
Just thinking about her dark, dank home was enough to make her skin crawl. But that wasn’t it.
She didn’t want to leavehim.
For the first time in her life, she’d found a human soul with whom she could be herself and not feel judged or pitied.
Sure, she had her friends, but it was different with them. She still had to put up a facade, to pretend that everything was well when it wasn’t. With him, she’d completely broken down, and he’d put her back together while talking and drinking a bottle of port. He’d put her back together while he painted her in the most beautiful way.
And then he’d told her that this was how he truly saw her!
She didn’t want to leave.
She already missed his tender gazes and scorching kisses. And perhaps in her heart of hearts, she hoped that he would ask her to stay.
How pathetic.
Either way, she had to see him one last time before she left, or she would never forgive herself. So she asked the stable boy to saddle a horse and rode to where Victoria told her Roth liked to gallop in the field.
She took this opportunity to canter around the premises and take a last look at the beautiful land she was about to leave. She was certain she wouldn’t see this place for a long, long time, if ever.
She took a roundabout way to get to the field, watching the beautiful sunset, saying goodbye to the Roth estate.
When she neared the field where the marquess’s horse grazed peacefully, it was almost too dark to make out what was going on. Lavinia’s vision was not perfect, and it was even worse during the twilight.
She dismounted and looked around once more. A few feet away, two men were walking toward the horses they had tied down and they were… carrying someone else?
Was it Roth? Was he hurt?
Oh, no!
The thought sent her heart racing.
Lavinia dashed toward the men, blood rushing in her head. “Wait! Stop!” she yelled as she ran after them. She tripped over something and almost fell, but quickly picked herself up and paused as she saw what she had tripped over.
A hat.
Lord Roth’s hat. And was that blood on it?
Lavinia straightened, her hands shaking, as she finally realized what was going on. But it was too late. A tall, broad man in dirty clothing and a toothless smile towered over her.
“Open up!” he said and shoved a foul-smelling bottle into her mouth. Lavinia had no choice but to gulp it down.
