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Rising to my feet, I called out her name, too—well, sort of.
My mind was a mess.
My hands were shaking.
My hair was up because I had ruined the stylist’s efforts by running my hands through my curls and having to lie down to calm my nerves backstage.
My stomach was completely in knots, and I wanted to run.
I didn’t feel like I could sing.
It happened to me each and every time.
It was like, somehow, I convinced myself all the musical ability in me was gone. That the last song I sang was the end of me.
On top of all of my insecurities and fears were Yvonne’s words from yesterday and the epic madness that was my mother and father’s relationship. What was the truth? Should I believe Yvonne that it was much more complicated than my mother made it seem to be? Even so? How deep were those wounds? I couldn’t ask her last night. I didn’t have the guts to.
“You’re on in two, Odette,” the voice in my earpiece said, not at all helping me.
I nodded, pushing it farther into my ear.
I could see the crowds through the curtains and felt sicker.
I can’t do this.
I can’t do this.
Why am I doing this?
My voice and music haven’t been doing well, not to mention I haven’t even been able to record as much as I’d like.
I can’t do this.
My eyes started to blur, and my nerves got worse.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Odette Wyntor!” the announcer said, and the lights on stage all fell on top of me.
I held on to the microphone because I needed it to keep me from falling, and now that the lights were on me, and everyone could see me, I felt worse. I was mad at myself for being like this. Why was I such a coward? I can’t run. But I can’t sing...
“Cinderella!”
There, in the front row, in thick-rimmed, black glasses and a baseball hat was Gale. He grinned up at me, waving.
Why is he everywhere? I couldn’t help but smile, and I remembered his letter, which made me think of his sister stomping her feet and then him in a tree.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and I leaned into the microphone.
Her voice.
It was like being stabbed right in the heart.
It was haunting and heavy.
It felt like winter.
It was stunningly beautiful and chilled me to the bone.
When I got over that, the actual words that came from her lips...it would make Edgar Allen Poe feel for her. It was not just me. Everyone had been buzzing with energy and excitement before she came on stage. Now it was so silent that had I not looked around me, I would have thought they had all disappeared.
