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“Consequence,” I repeated with a frown. “Owning up to this much is the least we can do.”
I’d deal with my grandmother personally, later.
“Fine, but we have to move him carefully, Gale,” she said, moving to sit at my father’s side, placing her hand on his head. “It won’t be until the evening at least; we have to have his doctor with him.”
I nodded, walking to the door. “I’ll let the palace know to prepare.”
“Gale.”
I turned back to her.
“Call your wife.”
I frowned, not saying anything else as I exited the room. For some reason…I was still mad at Odette. I knew she was just trying to protect this family, too, but some small part of me—a petty part—felt like she was mine…that we were in it together, that believed she would never, ever keep anything from me and knowing that she had, especially something this large…annoyed me.
“Sir.” Balduin was pacing at the bottom of the stairs.
Iskandar was standing stiffly, a clear frown on his face. I’d demanded that they and the one other maid stay away from the upstairs as I spoke to my mother upon arriving. My order to them was that no one—no matter who—was allowed to come up. It seemed like they were nearly about to dig themselves into the ground.
“What is it now?” I exhaled. One Month! I just wanted one month where something didn’t happen! Balduin swallowed, opening his mouth to speak. “For the love of God, what is it, Balduin?”
“The queen…she woke up this morning…bleeding.”
Consequence. The word repeated in my mind as I stood there, all the air vanishing from my lungs.
Sometimes, I found myself wondering if maybe…just maybe everyone was right. Maybe we were cursed.
“Ma’am?”
“Ma’am, please…can you open the door?”
“Ma’am, please let the doctors see you.”
“Ma’am, it’s Wolfgang. If you don’t respond, we have to come in. It’s protocol!”
Reaching to the side of the bed, I pushed whatever was there onto the floor. There…a response. Now I wouldn’t have to open the doors. Now the doctors wouldn’t have to see. And if they didn’t see, I wouldn’t get confirmation. It was like Schrodinger’s cat…whether I lost it or not…no one would know. I was just going to lay here in a state of not knowing. Because I couldn’t bear for someone to tell me what I felt was real.
All of me ached, and the world felt like it was spinning even as I lay on the sheets. But I refused to get up. I didn’t want to see anyone; I didn’t want anyone to see me. I hated myself right now. What was wrong with me? Why was I so pathetic? My mom was going to parties; she even admitted to drinking a few sips of wine with me here and there. I had been so careful. I did everything they told me. So why? What was wrong with me?
Knock.
Knock.
“Your Majesty, it’s me, Sophia. I’m coming in alone unless you scream at me not to.”
That wasn’t fair. I didn’t have the energy to scream. Hearing the key in the door jingle, I lifted the sheets higher and closed my eyes. Why wouldn’t they all leave me alone? Why?
“Odette?”
I said nothing.
I could hear her walking to the bed, but I squeezed my eyes tighter, trying to hold it together. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t want anyone here.
“I’m leaving you some snacks and water. As well as your cellphone and bell. It’s all right on your bedside table, okay?”
When I didn’t say anything, she put her hand on my shoulder, and I flinched.
“You don’t have to come out until you want to,” she whispered, rubbing my back for a moment before getting up and leaving.
