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“See, even your child is trying to tell you to calm down,” Elspeth said, rubbing the side of my arm. “Everyone last night knows that isn’t the truth—”
“You know more than anyone; they don’t care about the truth. In fact, they will add more to the story to dramatize it more, to say they were there. And before long, that’s the real story of what happened. Even if they didn’t, the public doesn’t know that.”
“Breathe,” Elspeth said to me.
I took a deep breath and released it.
“One more time.”
Again, I did it.
“Good.” She nodded at me. “No matter what they say, you know the truth. Just rest on that.”
“Don’t you see that the truth hurts me, too?” I bit my lip, looking down at my stomach. “The truth of the matter is Augusta is on drugs and is a drunk now. She hates me so much she will fly all the way here to ruin whatever peace I have. And now…last night will be my last memory of us together in the same room.”
“They said she would recover. See her and talk to her when she is sober,” Eliza said.
I shook my head. “No. I don’t care if she dies. I will not let her keep hurting me. She is banned from this palace. From any place I am. I’ve already told everyone. If she ever comes here again, they are to call the police and have her arrested. I can’t…I just can’t be the good sister anymore.”
I rose back up to my feet and marched to the door, knocking hard for them to open it.
If my father were alive to see her…he would die again of a broken heart.
All that effort, all that struggle to elevate us to a life of privilege and wealth, and my sister ends up on drugs?
I knew wealth didn’t make you superior to other people. But it was supposed to give you a fighting chance at this life…and she ruined it all because she hated me being happier or more successful than her.
That was some stupid bullshit, and I didn’t have the time or the energy to understand it.
I had said it before.
Now I truly meant it from even a deeper place.
Augusta was dead to me.
Chapter 36
“I’m still not sure how I feel about you giving birth outside of a hospital,” my mother said as she ate her yogurt beside me, her eyes laser-focused on the movie before us.
“I showed you the room, Mom. It’s basically a hospital in there,” I said, licking my own spoon.
“Yes, but it’s not an actual hospital. What if you need something?”
“The doctors told me they have everything.”
“What if you need to go into surgery?”
“Why would I need to go into surgery?”
“I don’t know. But isn’t there a chance? What then?” She tilted her head to the side.
I frowned, huffing loudly. “Mom, you are supposed to be making me relax, not freak out more about the possibilities. I’m nervous enough.”
“Sorry,” she said and shifted to sit up more on the pillows. “Let’s think of something more positive. I’ve thought of names.”
“Mom, we don’t even know the sex.”
“Not for the kid, for me.”
