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But I couldn’t even hug her back as I looked throughout the lavishly furnished bunker. There Elspeth sat quietly with her assistant by the bookshelf. Florence, Gale’s cousin, was by the bar fixing herself a martini. You would have thought we were in an underground lounge if it weren’t for the grim looks on everyone’s faces and the silence.
“All the doors are sealed. Their Majesties are secure,” Thelma said into her earpiece, moving to the single computer monitor in the corner.
“I never wanted to be back in here,” Eliza whispered to me, and I had forgotten she was even hugging me still.
“What is happening?” I asked for what had to be the tenth time.
“We don’t know,” Elspeth finally spoke, and I noticed her hands clenching. “We all have to be together first, and then they’ll report the news to the queen. We only just got here.”
“Come on, sit down,” my mother said, moving me to sit on the couch.
“I am the queen; everyone is here, right? So what is it? Tell us now!” I yelled. I was done being pushed around and kept in the dark. “Where is Gale?”
“We are not sure, ma’am,” Wolfgang said to me.
“What do you mean you are not sure?” I wanted to get back up on my feet. “He’s the king! How are you not sure?!”
Thelma stepped forward. “Today, September 8th at 4:23 p.m., there was a series of attacks throughout the capital, throughout Trinity Row. The king was in parliament to hear votes when an explosion followed by a series of gunshots were fired. We do not have any more information, but the last anyone heard was that the king had been shot.”
“Oh my God.” Elspeth gasped.
“The palace is now locked down as we search the premises.”
I gripped my stomach, trying to breathe. But air wouldn’t go into my lungs. The more I tried to breathe, the worse it became.
“Odette!” My mom grabbed my arms, but I just shook, still gasping for air. “Odette, sweetheart, relax. Okay? Relax.”
My vision blurred because of my tears. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Ah! It hurt! All of me hurt! I gripped my stomach.
“Ma’am, we are giving you doxylamine.”
I didn’t know who said it. I just held on to my mother, fighting for air, fighting sobs…it felt like I was struggling to breathe and calm down for hours. I wasn’t sure exactly how long had passed before I was…I was so tired.
“I can’t do this again,” I whispered to Julianna, gripping my own arm tightly. “I’d rather they kill me a hundred times than for me to face this again.”
“Ma’am, please stay calm,” she whispered back to me. “At least for the queen’s sake.”
The queen.
I looked at Odette. Who lay sleeping, her head on her mother’s lap as she rested. I wished someone would knock me out as well. I didn’t want to live through this again. When I looked at her, I saw…how all of this might go. She was pregnant, and yet I could see it…all-black mourning, sobbing, holding a child…No… No.
“I am not burying another son. Another man I love. I refuse,” I muttered, shaking. “I will not do it.”
I was tired of being strong. I was tired of pushing through it. I was done with that. If I lost my son, I was going to burn this place to the ground. To hell with all of it.
Please.
Please.
Don’t do this to me, God, please.
I am not strong enough.
“Drink,” Florence said to me while handing me a shot as I sat at the bar. “It will calm you down a bit.”
“It does. I still remember Arthur,” I muttered, running my hands through my hair. “It hasn’t even been two years. I still remember what I felt like being in here waiting, terrified. They didn’t let us out until Gale got to the palace.”
It was my father, mother, and me. However, my father had a breakdown the moment he heard the news, and so they sedated him as well. It was a nightmare. Those whole 24 hours were a nightmare, and here I was right back in it.
