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10
Aphrodite
It was later.
And I waited by the piano for what was to come, preparing to tune out her voice. Though I was sure it would not work completely, it had to lessen the blow of whatever it was she wished to speak to me about.
As soon as the doors opened, my hands were on the keys.
“Ah, so now you wish to practice,” she said.
“Of course, Mama, for how else could I be considered accomplished?”
“Quite right.” She nodded. “And how accomplished you shall be as the Countess of Wyndham.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Well, his brother is still alive at this present moment, but it is now certain he will not survive. Thus, Mr. Yves will become the Earl of Wyndham after his father.”
“Mama, this concerns me not—”
“Oh, but it does concern you, my dear, as Tristian asked your father for your hand last night.”
I arose so quickly that I nearly kicked over the piano stool. “He did not.”
“He very much did, and your father very much approved.”
“Why?”
“Why would he not?” she said, leaving me utterly baffled. “A gentleman of standing, with title and wealth, who has a reputation of being gentle and amiable, asked for your hand. Why would any father reject that for his daughter? If you accept, you shall be wed by the end of the season. Well done.”
“Not well done! For I do not accept, as I do not wish to wed him!”
“Then you must tell him so. He will ask in three days’ time at the queen’s garden party, where his mother and father both shall be present. In fact, all of the ton will be present. So, it shall either be a grand celebration or a massive embarrassment.”
My mouth opened in horror. I had to stop this.
“I need to write to him at once and tell him before—”
“He has left London to visit his brother,” she cut me off. “By the time you get a letter to his family home, he will be on his way back for the garden party. You may send it to his home here, but there is no certainty he will have seen it before meeting you.”
I fell back down upon the stool. “Mama, he is kind. I do not wish to embarrass him.”
“Then you should not have taken his hand last night. Did I not tell you each time you accepted him that you gave him hope?”
“I danced with others as well.”
“But you gave him your first dance as he requested and then spoke mostly with him,” she reminded me. I opened my mouth to explain, but she held up her hand, stopping me. “Whether you were interested during your conversations matters not. To all those who witnessed you, it seemed as though you were a couple. So here we now are. You will be either his betrothed or the lady who led him to disappointment.”
“That is unfair!” I protested. “It is all unfair! And I have had enough of it. You wish for Evander. Everyone in the house wishes for Tristian. I am pulled in every different direction. I did not wish to give him my first dance last night. However, Damon came to get me—”
“Did your brother tell you to dance with him?” she replied. “Aphrodite, your choices may be limited but do not act as if you have not had them. You merely keep wishing to run because you are afraid. You had no business being with the servants. Should a gentleman ask you to dance, you are free to refuse!”
“Am I? Am I free? I think not. Freedom would have been to not be at the ball. Freedom would have been to leave me be in Belclere!”
“Your family was not in Belclere! And the freedom you seek is not afforded to anyone. Not men, not women, not servants, not even the king! Everyone has responsibilities. You cannot just sit in a castle, eating cakes and reading books all day. What do you think affords you such a life? Is it not your father? Is it not generations of women who married and men who toiled to create this world? You whine and complain about such a grand life, where your biggest worry is marrying a future earl. The servants in this house make harder choices than you do every day.”
I hung my head, gripping my hands tightly, seeking to calm myself. She came to me, placing her hands upon mine.
