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“Is that fear greater than losing me forever?”
“It is not,” he whispered. “Nothing in this world is worse than losing you forever. I shall tell you all of it. And in so doing, I pray you to see that I have loved you all of my life. When I learned what love was, I understood it to be you.”
Four years.
I had been waiting for this moment for four years, and it felt like I could finally breathe, that the stone had lifted off my back and I could rise again. I could genuinely smile again.
“I—”
“Is there any possibility that this discussion can happen indoors? Preferably by a fire,” my brother said, now at my side, holding the reins of a horse from the carriage. “Do you seek us all to catch a chill?”
I wished I had left him behind!
12
Aphrodite
I could barely remember this home, since I had come only once with my brother and Mama when I was a child. I did recall that it was a lovely place, even more refined than our own, so I did not touch anything, in case I was punished, and sat by the fire where I was told. My brother had gone to play with the other boy. My mother was upstairs with the lady of the house, and I was bored. Then I was hungry. So, believing my mama had forgotten me, I stuck my head out the door to see if I could find help. The hunger had gotten so bad that I was near tears when an older boy appeared and said, “Are you all right?”
I saw that boy—now a man—before me, changed into new clothes as I was, thanks to his sister, looking at me with the same timid and worried expression as he had done all those years ago.
“Are you all right?” he asked just then.
“I was four when you first asked me that question in this very home,” I replied, hugging the shawl around me more tightly.
“You remember?” The corner of his mouth turned up. “That was the first time we met each other. I had met your brother before but not you.”
“I was scared my mama had forgotten me. And Damon was playing…”
“And you had gotten hungry. So, I brought you to the kitchen, and I was not sure what to offer, but you had already found the servant’s pork pie.” He chuckled, and it made me smile. “I turned around, and you were eating with your hands.”
“And, of course, that was when my mama reappeared.” I laughed, as I could remember her shrieking my name in horror. “She forced me to spend extra time at table lessons once we returned home.”
“You do not recall what happened before that?” he asked.
I paused. “No.”
“You became ill. The cook was getting rid of the pie, it had gone bad. You became sick, and my mother…” He paused, swallowing. And I remembered she had died later that same year. He was only ten years old. “Our mothers were terrified, and the doctor was called. The cook, Damon, and I were reprimanded severely for not watching out for you. My mother was even more beside herself than yours for days, even after you had gotten better.”
“Well, that might explain why I cannot stand to look upon pork pie. Even now.”
“Yes, I know.”
We found ourselves staring at each other. It was only when the door opened that I turned away to see my brother had entered, wearing clothing that I could only assume belonged to Evander. His gaze shifted between us, and then, without a word, he walked over to tend the fire.
“I have sent word to Mother and Father. We shall stay the night here,” he said, tossing another log onto the flame.
“We will?” Papa would not like that, while Mama, I was sure, would be grinning happily somewhere by her own fire.
“The rains have not eased, and your carriage needs repair,” Evander said. “It is best to go in the morning.”
“It is also good for her to retire early,” Damon interjected, now poking the fire, making it obvious that he was my chaperone. Slowly, he moved to the other side of the room to gaze out of the window, giving us distance. “Do not mind me. Speak as you must.”
“I think it is best for you to sit by the fire,” Evander said, noticing I still shivered.
Feeling the chill once more, I moved to sit. He no longer looked at me but at the flames beside me. It was three full minutes, at least, before he spoke again.
“You know about my mother?” he finally asked.
