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What was I to say?
“Very well.” I merely nodded, going to my side table and removing the cravat around my neck. We remained in silence, and it was very…tense. I knew not how to break the tension.
“Am I supposed to be undressed?”
“Supposed to be?”
She nodded. “Mama said that…you…you may…”
“I may what?”
“Wish to do it yourself?” she rushed out.
I tried not to grin too much. “I am not opposed to doing so, but I do not believe it is standard practice.”
“So, what am I to do?” She sighed heavily, her shoulders slumped.
At that, I did laugh. “What do you wish to do?”
“I do not know. That is why I am asking!”
I dropped the cravat behind me and leaned against the side table, crossing my arms. “What did your mama tell you?”
“Nothing that made sense,” she grumbled.
“How so?”
“Must I live through it twice?”
“Humor me, I beg of you, for I have been curious as to why you looked so afraid when you returned.”
“Mama…said…it hurts…and I would bleed.” She squeezed her hands. “And it does not make sense to me because I saw the girl in the shrubbery, and she did not look to be hurt or bleeding.”
I clamped down on my lip, looking at my boots.
“You are laughing at me.”
“I am not!”
“No, but you wish to.”
I lifted my eyes and looked at her, nodding. “Slightly.”
“Do not. It is unfair. I cannot help that I am ignorant of these things!” she snapped. “Any time I sought answers, I was told my husband would explain, and I would learn of such matters when I was married. Well, here I am, married, and here you are, my husband. So explain.”
“Very well.” I took a seat beside her. “Your mama is right. It may hurt and you might bleed slightly, but only the first time. The woman we saw among the shrubbery was most likely well past that stage.”
“So tonight shall hurt?”
“Only for a moment, and then, hopefully, it will be a pleasurable experience for us both.” I cupped her cheek before I leaned forward and kissed the side of her face. “I will always take care of you—trust me.”
“I do,” she said with a smile.
I nodded and rose, taking her with me and bringing her before me in the mirror. It was only then that I brushed her hair to the side and kissed her neck. When she closed her eyes, I reached for the top of her dress and slowly pulled down the sleeves. Right before it was to fall, she grabbed on to it under her breast, her eyes meeting mine again in the mirror.
“Trust me,” I repeated.
She nodded, allowing me to help her out of the dress. Then I undid the lacing of her undergarments, one by one until she stood before me as Venus. She nervously took in a breath of air, not meeting my gaze in the mirror any longer.
