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“You promise?”
He nodded. “With my hand on the Bible.”
I grinned, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his chest.
“I have a confession.”
“What?”
“It is an ugly one.”
“I am the last person to judge.”
“All this time, even when you were with someone else, I still wanted you. I wished— I cursed your former wife, wanting nothing more than for her to drop dead so that you could come back to me. I knew it was cruel and silly for me to think in such a way, but I could not help it. I told myself I was justified, as you were promised to me first. Then when I heard she had passed, I was…part guilt-ridden and part joyous, but sought to temper my expectations, believing you were hurt by the loss and still did not want me.”
It felt good to say the truth aloud.
“If you must confess, I shall also, so we may close the book on her,” he replied, his hands drawing circles on my back. “In the beginning, I hated Emma. I blamed her and her whole family for my misfortune—the mere sight of her enraged me. I avoided her, spending most of my time elsewhere. In the four years that I was married to her, I spoke to her as little as possible. I thought I had done enough. Part of me still believes that. However, my coldness toward her, the pressures of running an estate she knew nothing about, the weight of her guilt, the stress of motherhood, and the heartbreak Fitzwilliam had given her slowly drove her mad. I returned after she went into a fit. Some days, she was so still that it was as if she were dead. Other days, she tried to run away, to where I did not know. She would run through the forest like a madwoman, resulting in harm to herself, and we would search for her and bring her back. Eventually, I grew so tired of the embarrassment of her actions that I had her confined to the house and under constant watch, but that seemed only to worsen her condition.”
“The doctors could not treat her?”
He shook his head. “I sought many, but all they could manage was to calm her. And in that state, she would weep and apologize to me. Beg me for forgiveness. Explain to me how scared she was and how she had known no other way to save herself or her child. It was the first time we truly spoke to each other, and I was able to see her as a victim alongside me. I swore to her I would protect her child always. She confessed her sins on paper when her condition grew to the point where we both knew she would not last till spring. Her death was quiet. On my way to check on her, the maid came and told me she had gone in her sleep. I felt sadness for her loss of life but also some relief.”
I thought of all the rumors I had heard of him over the years, about how he was cruel, how he had mistreated his wife, how he was a liar and lacked honor, and how he was just like his father. It amazed me how misconstrued everything had been.
He must have been so very lonely.
I hugged him tighter, now sure that I would never bring up the woman to him again, and that to atone for all my curses, I would treat her child as kindly as I possibly could. “We shall live happily, Evander.”
Evander
I was perfectly content to hold her as she slept. I had not expected that conversation to arise so soon. But I was happy to be done with it…or, at least, be done with my anger and guilt toward Emma. By the grace of God, I was back to where I wished to be and with the woman I loved. I could allow that pain to fade.
We shall live happily, Evander. How I wished that to be so, and how I would fight to make it so. I still worried about Fitzwilliam being out there somewhere. The people I had hired still could not locate him, and with Datura back in Everely, Iworried we would not have peace until both were held accountable for their actions. And by accountable, I meant stripped of everything and left bare in the darkest of prisons. Prison would not be the case with Datura, but at the very least, she might be shunned from all society forever.
The only worry I had at striking with such fury was Gabrien. My youngest brother was cut differently from them. How was I to destroy his mother and eldest brother without ruining him and creating another vengeful heart?
My mind was full of worries and fears, but Aphrodite nuzzled into my neck and muttered my name in her sleep. I wrapped my arms around her. I did not know what was to come, so right now, I was going to enjoy this moment to its fullest. I would enjoy her to the fullest.
Calm, I thought as I felt myself harden when her breast brushed against my chest.
There will be plenty of nights like this.
Aphrodite
Humming—it was gentle and soft and brought me from the land of dreams to reality. When I opened my eyes, he was beside me, a smile on his face, as his touch was upon my shoulder. I stared in amazement, unable to believe I had woken up to such a sight as him.
“Good morning, wife.”
The corner of my lips rose. “Good morning, husband.”
He grinned, leaning over and kissing my shoulder. “Forgive me for waking you.”
“I am happy to be awake.” My dreams were occurring in reality, so why would I need sleep? “Have you been up long?”
“No,” he said, shifting to lie so close to me I could feel his body pressed against my own. I had a bad habit of sleeping on my stomach, so I shifted onto my back to look up at him. However, in doing so, a painful ache spread through my body.
“As I feared.”
