AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Tony Grinton’, she mouthed to Leila.
Why would Tony Grinton be calling her? Minnie sat behind him in maths. She’d come to know his neck better than she knew her own. He had this beautiful chestnut hair that fell just below his ears, the lowest part of his neck was shaved and there was this line where the stubble turned to thicker hair. She had spent a lot of maths classes wondering what it would feel like to run her hand across that stubble, up into his hair. Once, she’d picked up his phone for him when he’d dropped it on the floor. He’d said ‘thanks’.
‘Hi Tony!’ Minnie said in a high-pitched voice and then covered her mouth.
‘Leanne gave me your number. You’re in my maths class, right?’
Minnie could feel her eyes getting wider and wider as she tried to communicate her excitement to Leila. Leila was bouncing up and down on the sofa, silently clapping her hands together. Then she waved a hand at Minnie to hold the phone between them so she could hear too.
‘Well, I’ve got this maths problem I hoped you could help me with. You’re good at maths, right? Leanne said youwouldn’t mind.’ It was noisy in the background; it sounded like a party.
‘Sure,’ Minnie said, confused.
‘How many men can you fit in a Mini Cooper?’
She heard laughter on the line, other people listening in.
‘Twenty-eight is the record,’ shouted another male voice.
‘You want to be a record-breaker?’ Tony sang through grunting laughter.
‘Fuck off Tony!’ shouted Leila, grabbing the phone from Minnie and hanging up the call.
Minnie’s face fell. She should be used to being the butt of that joke by now, but it still hurt, especially when it came from someone like Tony.
‘Don’t let them get to you, Min, they’re such babies.’
Leila shook her head. Then her own phone pinged and she frowned as she looked at the message.
‘What is it?’ asked Minnie.
Leila turned the phone around. It was a picture of Dan Deaton, kissing Laura Crosby from the year below.
‘Who sent you that?’ Minnie asked.
She felt terrible. Leila would be at that party if it weren’t for her. Leila and Dan weren’t exclusive, but they’d kissed a few times and Minnie knew she liked him.
‘Fuck him, fuck all of them,’ Leila said, rubbing her eyes with her hands.
‘You know when I meet the right guy, and I mean a real man, not one of these dick nicks we’re at school with. When I meet therightman, he will believe in romance; he will get that it’s important. Life can’t just be about coupling up likeyoghurts in a multi-pack. There’s got to be more to it, right?’
Leila looked at Minnie with wounded, puppy-dog eyes.
‘Sure,’ said Minnie, ‘don’t listen to my mum, she’s just old and bitter.’
‘And when the right man asks me to marry him, I expect him to deliver the fairy tale. I want unicorns, I want doves, I want the whole fucking Disney fest.’
‘Is your future husband gay?’ Minnie laughed.
‘Possibly,’ she said, the wounded look leaving her eyes.
Leila stood up and started prancing around the room, caught up in her vision for this future proposal. ‘He’ll ride into a field on a unicorn, dressed as a knight in shining armour, and there will be doves and mer-people and baby rabbits that sing like they do inEnchanted. There’ll be a massive picnic of all my favourite food, specifically Nutella pancakes, and there will be a giant blue princess dress for me to wear and I will put it on and reclaim the princess narrative and I will look visionary and he will say, “Leila, I love you, and if you want the fairy tale, I will give it to you.” And I will eat those Nutella pancakes in my fuck-off princess dress and I will say, “Fuck yeah!”’
Minnie laughed. ‘You know, it’s funny, that’s exactly how my dad proposed to my mum.’
3 February 2020
‘Mer-people?’ said Alan.
