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‘Since when do you go to Hampstead Ponds?’ Leila drew her head back into a ‘do I know you at all?’ expression.
‘I always used to swim, remember, before life got busy. I thought I’d finally listen to Jean and try outside. Anyway, I ran into Quinn and we went for breakfast and … ’ Minnie let out a loud exhale, blinking her eyes closed. ‘Leila, we got on so well. I don’t know, he was just being so normal and funny and strangely vulnerable, not arrogant and obnoxious like before. We ended up going to the zoo and—’
‘The zoo?’
‘He wanted to adopt a penguin.’
‘Classic day date.’
‘What do you mean day date?’
‘Zoo is a classic day date. Looking at all those animals humping each other – starts you thinking about sex. He suggested it? You only take someone to the zoo if you want to hump them too.’
‘I don’t think it’s romantic watching animals hump each other, but yes, he suggested it.’
‘Then what? You snogged by the snow leopards, locked lips by the lemurs, canoodled by the canoe frogs?’
‘What are canoe frogs?’
‘I couldn’t think of anything that went with canoodle. There might be canoe frogs.’
Minnie shook her head, distracted from her story.
‘Anyway, Quinn and I had this amazing morning just hanging out, and it felt … I felt there was this amazing connection between us. We were about to leave and we had this moment … ’
‘A moment?’
‘Yeah, like we were looking into each other’s eyes and he was about to kiss me, and … ’
‘And?’
‘And then he said, “Don’t look at me like you want me to kiss you – I’m seeing someone and it would never work between us.”’
‘Ugh.’
‘Ugh, I know.’
‘I was expecting a little more steam in this story though, Min. This is barely U-rated. I was guessing he’d have at least shagged you and then ghosted you.’
‘I know, I’m overreacting. I just felt this real connection, and then to think I’d imagined the whole thing. It made me feel so stupid.’
Minnie shrugged. She felt a strange layering of emotions. On one level she still felt rejected and embarrassed; on another she felt so pleased to be back with Leila, talking likethey used to, that the rejection and the embarrassment didn’t seem so bad. She reached out to hug her friend again.
‘I’ve missed you, Leils. I’m sorry if you think I’m not a butterfly, and I’m sorry I berated you for being a butterfly. I love your butterflyiness, I can’t handle being a boring wingless caterpillar on my own.’
Leila laughed. ‘You’re not a boring wingless caterpillar, I shouldn’t have said that. You’re wonderful just as you are. I don’t think I realised how stressed I was back then. I took it out on you and I’m sorry.’
Minnie still held tight to the hug.
‘Clearly Quinn thinks I’m a wingless caterpillar too.’
‘Don’t take it so personally. You don’t know what’s going on with him.’ Leila paused, blinking owlishly. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, Minnie, but you let other people screw with your sense of self-worth too much.’
Minnie tapped a fist to her lips and swallowed. She would usually respond defensively to this kind of comment, but she was so glad to be back on good terms with Leila that she bit her tongue and simply said, ‘What do you mean?’
Leila took a deep breath, appraising Minnie’s reaction as she spoke.
‘Well, if a guy rejected me, I might be disappointed short-term but then I’d figure he wasn’t cut out to be the beneficiary of my excellent Leila energy.’ Minnie gave a reluctant lopsided smile. ‘Whereas you, Minnie Cooper, would take it to mean you’re worthless and hideous and doing something wrong.’
