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‘Oh, no, not the banana!’ she said breathily, putting her mouth around the chunk he was holding out for her.
She started eating it with her eyes closed, and when she opened them, their eyes met. He was looking at her wide-eyed. Oh god, how had this suddenly got so weird? She’d stayed fora glass for wine, and now they were engaged in some kind of sexy fruit-themed role play. Quinn cleared his throat, and slowly moved to his side of the sofa. Minnie swallowed the piece of banana in her mouth and stood up.
‘Sorry, I got carried away,’ Quinn said awkwardly.
‘It’s fine. I should um … I should get home anyway.’ She paused, looking down and remembering she was wearing his clothes. ‘Can I borrow these to get home? My land legs only last until midnight and then I’ll just be thrashing around in some Tube stop somewhere, begging someone to throw water on me. I can post them back to you tomorrow.’
‘Of course,’ said Quinn, ‘or I can pick them up sometime.’
He found Minnie a bag for her mermaid costume and ordered her an Uber. At the front door he paused.
‘I promise not to force-feed you bananas next time we see each other,’ he said. The muscle in his jaw flexed and he dropped his gaze to the floor.
‘Lucky for you I like bananas,’ said Minnie, daring to make eye contact.
Quinn looked as though he wanted to say something else but didn’t know how.
‘You’re great company, Minnie. I know we’ve had a few false starts, but I’d – I’d like us to be friends,’ he said, looking at her hopefully. ‘I need more laughter in my life.’
‘Court jester at your service,’ she said, crossing her leg in front of her and giving a bow.
‘I don’t mean it like that,’ he said, reaching out to touch her arm. He looked worried he had offended her. ‘I just can’t handle anything more at the moment.’
‘Of course.’ She reached out to give him a reciprocal tap on the arm. ‘Any time.’
He opened the door for her, the cab was waiting outside. She hovered in the doorway. Why was she hovering? He’d think she was hovering because she was waiting for him to kiss her and he had just established that she was firmly in the friend zone. So why was she still standing here? She jumped down the steps, tripped and stumbled on the bottom stair.
‘Are you OK?’ he called after her.
‘Fine, totally fine. See you later friend,’ she said with a backwards wave.
21 June 2020
The next Sunday, Minnie went back to Hampstead Ponds. She could have gone to the Ladies’ Pond further into the park. It was smarter, had better changing facilities and more sun in the morning. But she found herself at the Mixed Pond, peering at each head that glided through the water, wondering if one might belong to him. Clearly he was not likely to be there. She always looked for Jean Finney too, with her distinctive white ruffled swimming cap. It was just something you did when you went to the ponds, you looked out for people you knew.
Minnie swam for longer than she planned to, pulling the water back and down as though her life depended on it. She felt strong. These last few months she’d noticed new muscles developing in her shoulders, her stomach felt flat for the first time in years and her legs and arms felt longer somehow. On the downside her hair was a wild frizz bomb. Did any swimmers have good hair? Maybe if she was really serious about swimming she should chop it all off and go full otter.
When all her energy was spent, she pulled herself out of the water and dried herself standing on the patch of grass just in front of the changing rooms. Flashes of memory from this exact spot surfaced – stealing Quinn’s towel, their breakfast together, his dimpled smile as they walked side by side through the park. She needed to stop thinking about him.
‘Are you leaving?’ came a voice behind her.
She turned and then blinked, as though she didn’t trust her eyes. Was he really there, or had she conjured him up just by thinking about him? He was standing holding a towel, fully dressed in jeans and a pale blue shirt rolled up to the elbows. His hair looked longer, dishevelled. His face was unshaven; she’d never seen him with stubble before. The stubble made her conclude he couldn’t be a mirage. If her subconscious was going to create a vision of him, it would create him in the way she knew him to look, not some new, unshaven version.
‘Hi,’ she said, feeling her mouth launch into an unconscious smile.
‘I hoped I’d run into you,’ he said. ‘Shame we’re not in sync to go for a post-swim bacon roll. You must get up at the crack of dawn.’
‘Oh, I’ve only done a few laps,’ she lied. ‘I could swim longer if you … ’
Minnie couldn’t swim another stroke, she was exhausted.
‘Great, shall we meet back here in thirty minutes?’ he said, pulling off his shirt in one smooth movement.
Minnie’s body protested as she sank back into the water behind him. She watched Quinn set off at a pace across the pond. Had he genuinely hoped to see her here? She hadn’t been in touch with him since last weekend. She’d wanted to send a text asking how his mother was, but then she didn’t want to be the instigator, didn’t want to look too keen.
As she swam half-heartedly across the pond in his wake, she wondered what it was about Quinn that she liked. She had now admitted to herself that she did like him, even if itwas not reciprocated. Maybe the very fact that he didn’t want to be with her was part of the appeal. She’d always gone for men who kept her at arm’s length. Greg had been far more interested in his job than her. Her previous boyfriend Tarek had been selfish at best, verbally abusive at worst. Leila used to say that you got the relationship you thought you were worth. If you thought you were only worth part of someone’s attention, perhaps that was all you looked for.
And yet.
