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‘Wait. Your book?’ I say after a beat. ‘You wrote Tiger Woman?’
‘What’s Tiger Woman?’ Ted asks, looking between us in confusion.
‘Only the bestselling self-help book of the year,’ I say, unable to hide my amazement.
‘We don’t use the term “self-help”,’ says Belinda, wincing, ‘but thank you. We’d describe it as a memoir, of a woman throwing off the reins of the patriarchy, of societal oppression and expectation. It’s about reclaiming your base nature, finding your inner Tigress.’
Ted’s face is screwed into a knot of confusion.
‘What?’ he says.
‘You’re a bear, you wouldn’t understand. Anyway, the long and short of it is, until all this paperwork is filed, we’re still married.’ She pulls a wad of papers from her bag. ‘So technically some of my tiger riches will come to you.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Ted says, looking between us both.
‘This book has sold like a billion copies,’ I explain to Ted, feeling my eyes bulging from their sockets.
‘I have two more book deals in the pipeline: Tiger Woman Eats and Tiger Woman Sleeps.’ Belinda gives a little yawn, then turns to Ted with a more serious expression. ‘I would like to pay for Gerry’s care. He is family to me.’ She pauses, serious for a moment, talking only to Ted. ‘Look, I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’ll never forget what we once were to each other, but my path is now a solo one. I didn’t know how to extract myself from us, except by cutting the thread.’ She looks guilty for a moment, her gaze dropping to the floor. ‘I was selfish – thinking what would be easiest for me.’
‘I was worried when you disappeared,’ Ted says, his voice firm and controlled. ‘But I don’t need you to come in and fix anything. I can look after my own father.’
‘I know, and I know I have amends to make, but— He’s so upset about you selling this house because of him, Ted. Please let me help.’
Ted sighs, and Belinda goes on, ‘Just have my half of the London house, if you’d rather do it that way; you put down the initial deposit, so it’s only fair. However we work it out, don’t sell Sans Ennui, please.’
‘Fine, I’ll keep the house.’ Ted gives a short, sharp nod. ‘Congratulations on your book success.’ He smiles briefly at Belinda then turns back to me.
Belinda claps her hands. ‘I think this is a group hug moment,’ she says, reaching out her arms to me. I definitely do not consider this a group hug moment – I’m sceptical of group hugs at the best of times – but before I can stop her, she embraces me with her long, lean, tigery arms.
