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Chapter 29
‘Agghhh!’ Suki screams. ‘Cut, cut, cut!’ She leaps from her chair, launching herself at Saul, knocking the camera phone and tripod to the floor, where she and Saul then scrabble around to end the transmission.
‘What?’ Jasper looks at me with confusion.
‘I’m so, so sorry, Jasper, but I can’t do this. I’ve just realised I have feelings for someone else. I can’t in good conscience be a part of this interview.’
‘Laura Le Quesne, what the hell are you playing at?’ Suki fumes, picking herself back up off the floor and dusting down her trouser suit with both hands. ‘Are you having a seizure? What am I witnessing here?’
‘I’m sorry, Suki, I don’t want to lie any more,’ I say, looking at her through unblinking tiger eyes. Though I have only skim-read it, and it’s not a book I would have chosen myself, some of Tiger Woman’s philosophy must have resonated, because suddenly I don’t want to feel obliged; I don’t want to be polite; I don’t care if I end up alone; I just want to listen to my gut and be the version of myself I am when I’m with Ted – raw and unfiltered.
‘Who? Who do you have feelings for?’ Jasper asks, a look of bewilderment on his face. ‘I thought this was all going so well. We have so much in common.’
‘I know, it was and we do. You’ve been so lovely and kind and I really have enjoyed spending time with you, but I think sometimes the heart doesn’t make any sense at all.’
‘Right,’ says Suki, striding towards me. ‘We’ll blame the interview outage on some kind of interference. Let’s start it again, we won’t do it live, we’ll salvage it in the edit.’
‘No,’ I say, squeezing Jasper’s hand and then walking past Suki, away from the lights.
‘No?’ she says in angry bemusement.
‘I won’t do this interview – I’m sorry, Suki.’
‘Laura, don’t be childish – if we don’t deliver this, you’ll be letting down the whole Love Life family, not just me. Think of your colleagues, of their jobs.’ Suki’s face looks as though it’s trying to make a conciliatory expression, but her eyes are shooting arrows at me.
‘I’m sorry, Suki, but no, you can’t control this one,’ I shrug. ‘I want to write real stories again, I want to write things that are true, not just “brandable content”, and if that means leaving Love Life, well, then so be it.’
Dionne is staring at me, unblinking in disbelief. Saul is fanning himself briskly with a hand, as though all this drama is causing him to overheat.
‘After all I’ve done for you!’ Suki snarls. ‘Well, don’t come crying to me when no one wants to read your “truth”, Laura. The truth is boring. People want to buy a dream, not be reminded of reality.’
‘You’re wrong – I think all any of us want in this world is something real.’
Picking up my handbag, I head for the door. I have nothing more to say. My legs are shaking, and I need to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, to walk in a straight line.
Once I’m in the hall, I hear Jasper calling after me.
‘Laura, I don’t understand. What happened in there? I was going to name a kitchen after you,’ he says, with wounded eyes.
‘That’s so sweet of you, but you know, I don’t think I’m kitchen material, Jasper. I’m really more of a living room girl.’
Jasper is still looking at me like a puppy, and I do owe him more of an explanation. I close my eyes, searching for the words, and when I open them, I say, ‘You know you told me how all your family wanted you to stay in law, that being a lawyer was the right fit for you, a sensible career? But you just had this feeling – about kitchens, this calling.’ Jasper frowns, trying to follow what I’m saying. ‘This guy, Ted, I’ve just realised, he’s kitchens for me.’
Jasper rubs his chin with his hand, his eyes darting left to right as he processes what I’m saying.
‘And I’m law?’
I nod, giving him an apologetic smile.
He puts a hand on my shoulder, looks me in the eyes and says, with all sincerity, ‘Well, you go get your kitchens then,’ and then he raises his fist in the air, as though he’s an American football coach, sending me out to the field.
I don’t know how I’m going to get back to L’Étacq without waiting here for a cab. I run out into the road, flagging down a car as I go, hoping the island’s hospitality stretches to hitchhikers. The first car around the bend pulls in, and I run to get into a purple Ford Fiesta, driven by a woman in her thirties with curly red hair and a grey whippet on the back seat.
In my haste to get across the road, I’m nearly hit by a car coming the other way. It screeches to a halt, and I thump both my hands on the bonnet, shouting with fear and fury, ‘Hey, watch it!’ at the driver. Then I see who is driving – Ted. He jumps out, leaving the driver door open, the engine still running.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask, my breath quickening, my heart pounding against my chest.
‘I’ve come to make a grand gesture,’ he says, running around to the front of the car to meet me. ‘The cabinet you left me – Laura, I love it, it’s the nicest present anyone has ever given me.’ He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes earnest. ‘I was being a coward. I know I’ve only known you three days, and I know I’m a mess, but – pick me, let me be the one who tries to make you happy. Am I too late?’ Ted grins, a sheepish grin. ‘I’m ready to burst in there and challenge your suitcase man to a duel if need be.’
