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While we were on the train back to London, mid conversation, Fred noticed that his watch had stopped at almost the exact moment he checked the time. The train had just pulled into a station, and there was a poster that said ‘Time to Leave’ hanging outside, and you know what he did? He got off the train, right there, at Bridgwater. He messaged me later to apologise, but he felt the watch and the poster were telling him to get off the train. Seriously, who does that?
On a more positive note, I did as you suggested and talked to Paul at the wedding. We are going for a coffee next week. Whatever it was you said to him, thank you. It would be nice to be friends with him again if nothing else.
I hope you can sort out this misunderstanding with Josh and then come back and get married properly. Let me know what I can do, if anything. Oh, and sorry for crying on you yesterday, I just got my period today, so that explains a lot.
Love from Miranda.
This email from Miranda cemented something Audrey already knew – Fred was not the man for her, he was certainly not her ‘soulmate’. On that day, six years ago, he had swept her off her feet, she had been awed by him, his buzz of energy, bright as the Dog Star. It was the first time she had really fallen for someone, and it had left its mark. But what she knew about Fred had been a few dots in the sky, she had filled in the rest of the picture. Clearly, he was whimsical, impulsive, maybe a little selfish. He had not even been single that day they met. Her fantasy had obscured reality.
Audrey wanted to call Miranda, to hear a friendly voice, to say how pleased she was about Paul. But she also wanted to work things out for herself first, not involve anyone else. What she needed was to think of a grand gesture, a show of how much she loved Josh and how much of a team player she could be.
She googled ‘Big romantic gestures to win him back’ and found a helpful list. Josh loved lists, maybe she would find the answer here.
Romantic gestures to show him you care:
1. Cook his favourite meal.
2. Tag him in a funny meme you think he will like.
3. Plan a romantic vacation.
4. Cuddle him in bed.
5. Pre-cool or pre-heat his car for him, so it’s the perfect temperature when he gets in.
Who invented the Internet? These were all terrible ideas. Maybe a grand gesture wasn’t the way to go. Maybe she just needed to be honest. She needed to make him see that she was a team player (even if she was one of the crap players who spent most of the game on the bench). And if that didn’t work, then she could think about getting an ‘I heart Josh’ tattoo and maybe sending him some funny memes.
Unsurprisingly, Foamtopia turned out not to be the best place for a restorative night’s sleep. Not only was Audrey’s single bed the width of an ironing board, but the foam party downstairs went on until the small hours of the morning. Every time she thought the pounding bass through the floor had stopped, a few seconds later, it started up again. At two a.m., she gave up trying to sleep and went to lie on the beach. The stars were out, the same stars she’d seen on Friday night from the garden of Millward Hall. They shone just the same, completely oblivious to the fact that her whole world had combusted like a supernova.
Her father’s letter was still in her bag. After the drama of yesterday, she had held off opening it. She wanted to be in the right frame of mind, to savour reading these final words from her father, because there would be no more. Now, lying alone in the sand beneath the crescent moon, it felt like the right time. She pulled the creased letter from her handbag, and opened it, bracing herself for another mistake, another letter meant for someone else. But it wasn’t.
Darling Audrey,
I will always think of you as my little girl, but one day I imagine you will grow up. One day you will be a woman, you might even get married and feel that I should have been there. As I sit at my desk, writing the closing scenes of my life’s work, I realise this future imagined day is the one I will be most sad to miss.
So, I am writing you something for that day. Firstly, to say I am sorry not to be there. I am sorry that my absence might add a sombre note to a happy day. I am sorry I will not meet the person you have chosen to spend your life with. When I imagine this person, I hope they are kind, I hope they are selfless, I hope they are happy to build you up and watch you shine, because trust me, some people won’t do that, however much they profess to love you. I hope loving them makes you see the world as a brighter place and gives your heart a safe harbour in which to thrive. My main advice for you my darling is never give up on love. Never. Give. Up.
You are the best story I ever began Audrey – and I trust you to write the middle and the end. Remember, we are all simply atoms of stardust, you need only look up to find me.
All my love, Dad
It was as though he knew the exact words she needed to hear. Audrey wiped away a tear. ‘Thanks, Dad,’ she said aloud to the sky.
