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‘The girl who marries Prince Charming, gets a golden carriage and moves into a lovely castle with four turrets and room for a day spa. In the twenty-first century version, she also gets a fulfilling job as a Girl Boss at a FTSE One Hundred company. She’s emotionally balanced and normal, and together they go on to have a great life. You haven’t heard this one?’
‘No, I haven’t,’ Audrey said impatiently.
‘Do you know why you haven’t heard it? Because it’s a shit story. No one wants to read about the princess who got everything she ever wanted – she’s tedious and dull and irritatingly smug.’ Hillary gently shifted his shoulders around, so he was looking her in the eye. ‘We both know perfectly well you’re not actually going to run off with Mr Cheekbones today. No one does that in real life. You’d get as far as Woking services and then turn around and come back again – it would all be painfully embarrassing. Plus, no one else is ever going to let me do a best-man-of-the-bride speech at their wedding, so don’t fuck this up for me. This is the happiest day of my life.’
Audrey started to laugh, and then cry and then both at once. Hillary pulled her head onto his shoulder and kissed it.
‘Just remember what today is all about – you, and Josh. You know he’s not my type, but I’ll concede he’s a pretty remarkable man, and he loves you to distraction.’ Hillary stretched out his legs. ‘Can we get out of this cupboard now? I really can’t abide spaces this small. They take me back to the green room at the Donmar Warehouse, and I feel like I’m about to be thrust on stage in an inadequately sized loin cloth.’ He gave a theatrical shiver.
‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘We can get out of the cupboard now.’
Hillary was right. Of course he was right. Audrey had lost sight of something in the maze last night. She’d lost sight of Josh.
