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Of course he didn’t. Disappointment welled up, along with an odd kind of relief. It would be worse to discover that they’d confided in others and not him, Daniel realized.
“But I’d wager a good deal that it was due to your mother,” Macklin added.
“Why do you say that?” He’d just assumed his father made all their decisions.
“A theory only,” said the older man. “But your father never showed any interest in leaving England before he married. Of course I only knew John from the age of eighteen. But we spent a good deal of time together during several seasons in London and some country visits, and we talked as young men do.” He smiled. “In our cups and out of them. Grandiose plans and impractical dreams.”
Intrigued by this glimpse into his father’s youth, Daniel immediately wanted to hear more. What plans and dreams? He knew so little about the two people who had created him. For the first time, he was glad that Macklin had come to Frithgerd.
“John didn’t speak of travel,” the earl went on. “Not even the grand tour of Europe, which was popular then. He was more interested in horse racing and boxing matches, if I recall correctly. Then he met your mother.”
“At the Duchess of Rutland’s masked ball.” Daniel had heard this story, at least. “Papa was dressed as Mark Antony, and she was Cleopatra. They took it as an omen.”
Macklin nodded. “They didn’t seem to mind how that story ended.”
“What?”
“Assassination? Flight? Eventual disaster?”
“They’d thought of the same era,” replied Daniel, confused. “Their minds ran in a similar way.” This was one of the few family legends he possessed.
The earl shrugged. “John was certainly smitten with Miss Walsden, as your mother was then. A beautiful girl. And John’s father’s opposition was oil on the flames, of course.”
“He objected?” No one had told Daniel this. “Why? I thought Mama was born into some ancient line.” His mother’s parents had been dead by the time he came along. She mentioned second cousins a time or two, but Daniel had never met them.
Macklin nodded. “Like John’s own. And like John’s a small family, with few representatives. John told me his father would have preferred a prolific clan. He was worried that the Friths were dwindling and wanted to repopulate their ranks.”
“That sounds positively medieval.” Was this the reason he had no siblings, Daniel wondered. Was his singular status some sort of rebellion?
“He was a rather archaic figure. I remember one evening when he hunted John down at an evening party and lectured him—in front of a group of young friends—about the weight of history and responsibility his name carried. He felt Johnmustsee how much more important this was than the latest odds at Newmarket. Calling it a weight was a mistake, I always thought.”
He smiled as if to share a joke, but Daniel was too absorbed by this glimpse into the past to laugh. “So my grandfather’s objections to the match made no difference?”
“No. John wanted Serena Walsden. He offered for her, and she accepted.”
“Good for him!”
“Perhaps she was. She certainly broadened his interests. Most girls talk chiefly about themselves, don’t you find? But Miss Walsden was full of information she’d read. Much of it was about faraway spots and politics, if I recall correctly. I never knew her well.”
Daniel remembered his mother enumerating the sights she’d seen in Jamaica or New York or some other far-flung destination. She always had a ready list, though he’d never gotten much sense of the feelings these places had evoked in her. She could go on and on, however, in a continuous, unvarying flow. When Daniel dropped a few details about his own life and interests into the conversation, she’d received them in the same manner, as if he was listing points in a school essay. She made him feel like some tedious acquaintance rather than family. As for his father, he’d clearly been more interested in pleasing his wife than in listening to his son. Together, they’d formed an outwardly cordial but ultimately impenetrable front.
He’d resented it, Daniel acknowledged, even more than he resented their constant travels. And so he’d begun avoiding Frithgerd and everything to do with it. Which had hurt only himself, in the end, he thought wryly. It had left him ignorant about his responsibilities when they fell upon him.
“I never spent much time around her,” the earl went on.
It took Daniel a moment to remember that Macklin was speaking of his mother.
“They were married and came down here. After you were born the following year, they started traveling. It was difficult to catch a glimpse of John after that.”
Daniel knew that problem all too well. He’d thought of himself as a boy at the mercy of a father with wanderlust. But was he instead the product of a woman who had produced an heir as required and then set off to do as she liked for the rest of her life? Regardless of what anyone else might have wanted?
He felt slightly dizzy, as if his brain was shifting inside his skull. In the confusion, something struggled to well up. It felt like danger.
He grew aware of his position, standing in the corridor outside the estate office, engaged in a conversation that ought to be private. He pushed his bewilderment aside. There was no point in repining. And there was so much to do. “If you’ll pardon me, I should get back to work.”
“Of course,” said Macklin, stepping away.
Did he look smug? But why should he? Daniel went into the office and shut the door behind him. Immediately, he felt oppressed by the litter of documents. His grandfather had chosen precisely the right word, he thought. His heritage was undoubtedly a weight.
