Page 35 of A Rogue to Remember


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Alec flicked his eyes to the menu. “I would expect nothing less, signore,” he said lightly, while hoping for all the world that Lottie wouldn’t have a change of heart and come looking for him.

Once she was alone in the train cabin, Lottie let out a sigh and settled into her seat. She pulled out the hat pin and gently lifted the hat off her head and placed it beside her. She might as well be comfortable for the long ride. As Lottie nestled deeper into the seat, the very sight of the fussy piece of millinery made her smile. Lord knew she needed something to lift her spirits. She had the hat and matching walking gown commissioned before she left for Italy but didn’t dare wear it while in the presence of Mrs. Wetherby, as the woman thought pink clashed with her coloring. It wasn’t exactly appropriate for train travel, but Lottie was tired of waiting for the right time to wear it. She frowned as she ran a finger along the hat’s brim. A person could spend their whole life waiting, only to be left with nothing. That seemed like a rather obvious lesson she should have learned a long time ago.

Lottie rubbed her temples; they hadn’t stopped throbbing since her argument with Alec. His outrage had been surprising, but it was the deep hurt that flickered briefly in his eyes that haunted her still. Whatexactlyhad Uncle Alfred said all those years ago? She pinched the bridge of her nose as she tried to recall that awful morning after her coming out ball.

Lottie had awoken feeling lighter than air. Invincible. The fear, the sadness, the loneliness that had been slowly creeping in the last few years were gone, all thanks to Alec’s surprise appearance. She had always cared for him, of course, and wouldn’t deny she found him as handsome as ever. But more important, he was her dearest friend. Her champion. And yet something had changed between them on the dance floor. He looked at her differently, held her closer, spoke softer. Or maybe it had been earlier, when he appeared at her bedroom door, as if she had conjured him out of her misery. Lottie hadn’t realized how very much she needed him until he was there hugging her, assuring her everything would be all right.

And Lottie believed him. Completely.

He had promised to call as soon as he could that morning, and Lottie was so excited she could barely eat. Uncle Alfred already knew of her intention to marry for love, and who better than Alec? The more she thought about it, the more right it felt until no one else would do. Only Alec. She could wait until he finished the excavation in Scotland. She could even wait until he secured his future at Oxford. She could wait as long as it took if it meant spending the rest of her life with him. Lottie dressed quickly and then hurried downstairs to the parlor where she waited, and waited, and waited.

But he never came.

Around noontime, Uncle Alfred entered the room. “Well, hello Lottie.” But she couldn’t return his easy smile and he noticed her stricken expression. “What’s wrong? Are you ill?”

Lottie shook her head. “No, I––have you heard from Alec?”

Uncle Alfred gave her a confused look. “Why, yes. We were in my study talking just now.”

Lottie stood so abruptly that the book she hadn’t been reading fell to the floor with a heavy thud. “Oh! I was so worried I—”

Uncle Alfred held up a hand. “My dear, he’s already left. He almost missed his train back to Edinburgh.”

She sat back down. Her head felt fuzzy all of a sudden. Lottie couldn’t make herself understand what he was saying, and yet the words seemed to steal the very air from her. “Left?Did he say anything?”

Uncle Alfred raised an eyebrow. “About you? No. We only talked about him, I’m afraid. Alec’s decided to do his duty to the Crown.”

Uncle Alfred continued talking, but Lottie’s ears began to ring. She knew a little about her uncle’s activities on behalf of Her Majesty’s government, but not once had she ever thoughtAlecwished to be involved. The work could be dangerous, and he could be gone for months traveling to the farthest corners of the empire. How…how would they be together?

“I don’t understand. Alec doesn’t want to work for the Crown,” she insisted. “He’s interested in the Etruscans.”

Uncle Alfred gave her a long look. “We’ve been discussing it for nearly a year.”

Lottie tried to inhale, but it was as if the wind had been knocked from her lungs. This whole time, all those letters, he had kept this from her?

“There are some loose ends to tie up in Edinburgh, but he should be going abroad in a few weeks,” Uncle Alfred continued. “Egypt. Possibly Turkey. The more adventurous, the better, I gather.” He smiled proudly. “It was nice, wasn’t it? Seeing your old chum once again?”

It was such a trivial description of who Alec was and what he had come to mean to her that Lottie didn’t know where to begin to correct him. All she could focus on was the most immediate hurt.

“But…he didn’t want to say goodbye?” Her voice broke on the last word. She hated how pathetic she sounded. Uncle Alfred’s eyes softened, like they used to when she was a little girl. He walked over to the sofa and sat down beside her. “I was afraid of this, you know…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head. “I thought it would be better if he left. And Alec agreed.”

“You told him not to—tospeakwith me?”

Uncle Alfred tsked. “You make me sound like an overbearing brute. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up his hand. “There’s no use denying it. I saw how you looked at him last night. But you mustn’t believe everything you see. Haven’t I taught you that?”

Lottie bristled. This was absurd. “You’ve taught me to be wary of people I didn’t know. But this isAlec.” She had never once spoken to her uncle in such an obstinate tone.

“And he has changed very much,” he immediately countered. “You’ve always given Alec the benefit of the doubt, Lottie. It’s in your nature to see the best in everyone, just like your poor mother.”

Lottie stiffened. Uncle Alfred rarely mentioned his beloved sister, but he had never said such a thing before. Did he not approve of Lottie’s father? How could that be?

“He came here specifically to make arrangements with me,” Uncle Alfred continued. “It was merely a coincidence that he happened to be in town the night of your ball.”

Lottie shook her head. “No, he said he wanted it to be a surprise—”

“Then why did he arrive so late?” her uncle pressed. “And why has he already left? Whatever he told you, whatever he may havewantedyou to think, you weren’t a part of his plans, Lottie. You were only an afterthought.”

Her cheeks stung, as if he had slapped her. The words pressed on a raw spot so deep, she had forgotten to guard it.

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