AllFreeNovel
Share Us
And she still loved him. Even now. Even after everything.
The moment seemed to stretch endlessly between them until she became that pitiful, friendless orphan once again, clambering after Alec, begging for his friendship, desperate for the warmth, the care, her duty-bound uncle could never provide, to feel wanted, needed, by another person.
Promise you won’t ever leave me again.
Her cheeks now burned at the memory. Back then she had no shame in revealing such raw emotions to him. In admitting how much she needed him, how small and weak she was without him. What had he said in return? She couldn’t remember now. But it didn’t matter. She had her answer. She’d had it a thousand times over already.
The ladies faded into the background as Alec wavered before her eyes. She knew he was speaking, and yet the words couldn’t penetrate her woolly mind. Just as her vision began to blur, his warm hand clasped her upper arm—the only part that wasn’t covered by her evening gloves. She trembled under his touch as he anchored her to the ground. To this moment. With him.
“Look at me.” The commanding tone washed over her, cool and calming. His voice was even deeper than usual, and the very sound felt like a long, lingering caress.
It would take a lifetime to forget him now, if she was lucky. One could not outrun their own memories, and she had amassed so many more over the past few days. Lottie blinked, and her eyes flickered to his face. Alec was so close she could see the flecks of gold in his irises. His intense gaze pierced straight through to her chest, but she would never know what it felt like to belong to him. She was just another obligation. Just another part of his duty.
“Sit.” Alec guided her down to the sofa. Then he called to one of the women behind her and asked for food and drink. Lottie frowned as he kneeled before her. He would wrinkle his trousers before they even left, but Alec didn’t seem to care. He took a tray from one of the ladies and handed her a plate of the rice Nico had brought earlier. “Here. You must eat. I thought you were going to faint right in front of me.”
Lottie gave no response. She did as she was told, barely registering the taste of the food. After a few bites, Lottie moved on to the glass of wine. It was cool and sweet. She drank deeply, greedily, until Alec clucked his tongue and stilled her hand. “Careful. I can’t have you foxed before supper,” he said with a small smile, then he took the glass, stood up, and walked over to the sisters.
While they spoke, Lottie stared blankly out the window waiting for the wine to swirl through every vein, deaden every nerve, strangle every sense. She was tired of feeling so much. And for a man who didn’t appear to feel as much for her in return.
Tonight she needed numbness. Blessed emptiness.
Behind her Alec thanked the sisters for their work, and some more coin was exchanged. They left on a swish of skirts before the front door shut softly. Alec stood in place for what felt like hours, then she heard the slow, heavy tread of his footsteps. Lottie’s pulse quickened a little more with every step, and the sweetness from the wine turned metallic on her tongue. Dread and desire warred within her. She dragged her eyes away from the window and onto the floor until the toes of his freshly polished shoes came into view.
Alec stopped a foot from her. “As I was saying before you nearly toppled over, Valentina has outdone herself.”
Lottie drew her gaze slowly, steadily, up Alec’s form until she reached the eyes she had once known so well. “Yes. Luckily, I seem to have acquired her services when I leave. Tomorrow.”
Alec had the decency not to look away. “It was what we agreed upon. One day in Venice. And then you leave.”
But not without you.
“It will be all right,” he continued. “As long as Valentina accompanies you home. She’s been wanting to go to England anyway, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. I’ve paid for her ticket and given her funds for lodging. You aren’t obligated to hire her, but I’m sure a reference would help.”
“Of course,” she murmured.
Home.It had been ages since any place had felt like that. Lottie turned away. She couldn’t bear his stony expression. “You’re sending me away,” she whispered, hating the weakness in her voice. He was still only thinking of her blasted reputation. Of fulfilling his duty.
“It’s for your own protection.”
Lottie met his dark gaze.Mine, or yours?But she kept the accusation to herself. Some unspoken emotion briefly flashed across his face, but she could not make him speak, no matter how badly she wished for it.
“You don’t have to do this,” he finally murmured. “You can stay here tonight.”
That was certainly the more sensible choice. But Lottie hadn’t come to Italy in the first place to make safe choices. She came here to be bold. To put everything at stake—her reputation, her future, and, it seemed, her heart. None of that should change because of Alec’s presence. She would still have a life to live once he had gone. That she knew very well. If he wanted her gone, so be it. Let him stay in this crumbling palazzo. Let him run his little missions. She did not need to subject herself to his manipulations after tonight. Until then, she would enjoy herself.
Lottie held out her gloved hand. It no longer trembled. “Thank you, but I believe I’ll be going out.”
Alec studied her for a tense moment. His brows pulled together in a slight frown, but he took her hand and pulled her to her feet. “You will let me know the minute you feel unwell.”
“Yes, but duty comes first, Professor Gresham. Always.”
Alec drew her arm into the crook of his elbow and stared straight ahead as he led her toward the door. “As if I could ever forget.”
Chapter Fourteen
Imust confess, I was expecting this evening to be a bore. So I begged the signore to invite at least one terribly handsome man.” The enigmatic Madame Noir leaned in a little closer, enveloping Alec in a thick cloud of expensive amber perfume. “I’ll have to thank him later,” she murmured while holding his gaze.
Alec forced a smile. “I didn’t realize I was filling an order, Madame.”
