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“Of course,” Alec said. “But I won’t bring her back here. Not unless she wants it.”
Sir Alfred let out a sigh. “You think I’ve gone too far, but you don’t understand—”
“Try me,” Alec said through gritted teeth. He had never spoken so harshly to Sir Alfred, and the man noticed.
He shook his head. “After her parents died, I was supposed to protect her. I failed her mother, the poor girl. I couldn’t fail Lottie, too. If things had carried on between you, it would have been a disaster for her. And then all of it—all of it—would have been for nothing.”
Alec knew that Sir Alfred was still haunted by the death of his younger sister, but Lottie had paid the price for far too long. They both had.
“That wasn’t your choice to make. And I never should have agreed to your terms. I should have gone to Lottie. Instead I—” his throat tightened at the realization “—I was no better than you, was I?”
The barest hint of remorse crossed Sir Alfred’s face before the anger returned. “I made your career that day. Gave you a future.”
“No. You made me a killer. A liar. And I hurt the person I cared about most. Because I thought I was nothing. That I could give her nothing—”
“I’ll hear no more of this rubbish,” Sir Alfred grumbled as he reached toward the bell pull, but Alec snatched it away.
“Ah, but youwill. And I’ve only gotten started.” He moved closer until he loomed over the man, but Sir Alfred merely tilted his head up, refusing to be intimidated. Even now. Even in this state. Alec couldn’t help but admire his pluck, but he wouldn’t back down. Not until he knew everything once and for all.
“Tell me what my mother was doing for you.”
The old man said nothing. Just stared back at him in silence. Alec swallowed a frustrated sigh. What he would give to have Rafe’s interrogation abilities…
“You owe me the truth, Sir Alfred,” he began again, taking care to hold back any note of the desperation currently flooding through him. “After all I sacrificed for you. For Turkey.”
Sir Alfred’s expression faltered at that. Perhaps he had a heart after all. “Her husband was a duplicitous scoundrel,” he said reluctantly. “But I needed information to prove it, and she agreed to spy on him. After she took up with your father, she still returned to the count on occasion to stay in his good graces. He refused to give her up completely, and he was a powerful man. They needed his approval.”
Alec inhaled. It wasn’t anything he didn’t already know, but it was still difficult to hear Sir Alfred confirm it.
“Somehow the count found out,” Sir Alfred continued. “He demanded Maria leave Edward or else he would have him thrown in prison. Edward was already regarded as a troublemaker because of his irritating habit of championing the cause of the common man. One word from the count was all it would take. There was no way he would have survived the filthy place, so Maria left.” Then Sir Alfred looked away. “It…it was not an easy decision for her to make.
“But if your father was imprisoned, she would have been forced to go back to the count anyway. And she would have lost you. Appeasing him to keep you with one parent seemed like the better option. And the count was an old man. He could have died at any time.”
Alec squeezed his eyes shut. The count had ended up outliving his mother by two years.
“But neither of us could have predicted your father’s reaction,” Sir Alfred said softly. “I couldn’t tell him why she had really left, of course, but I did try to make him see reason. How all he needed was towait, that she would return someday, but he was weaker than I realized. God rest his soul, wherever it is.”
And now Alec had done much the same to Lottie—told her a despicable lie in the name of saving her. Alec let out a bitter huff and opened his eyes to see Sir Alfred actually looking remorseful. Alec never expected to feel pity for Sir Alfred until he was faced with an old man who had nothing but a long life full of manipulation to look back on. It was a dire warning of a future Alec wanted no part of.
“I cared about them both, you know. And you. It was an ugly business, what happened.” Then he paused. “I suppose…I suppose I felt partly responsible,” he admitted with great reluctance. “So I took you when she asked me to. But you should know that your mother did not want to leave you. She did the best she could given the confines of her marriage.”
“And yet you would have forced your own niece into a similar arrangement.”
Sir Alfred seemed startled by the comparison, but then nodded. “It appears so.”
“All because the idea of her marrying me was so utterlydistasteful.” Alec couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his words.
Sir Alfred gave him another long look. “You could have told me to go to hell five years ago, you know,” he pointed out. “But you didn’t. You saw the benefits of my offer.”
Alec thought of that morning. Of how easily Sir Alfred preyed on his deepest fears. And of another morning only days before when he had performed a similar manipulation. “Only because I believed the things you said about me. I believed I would ruin her life. That I didn’t deserve her.”
Sir Alfred seemed to consider this. “And now?”
Alec let out a dark laugh. “Oh, I still most certainly don’t deserve her. But I owe her an apology. One that is long overdue. And the truth.”
“We both failed her, didn’t we?” Sir Alfred sighed. “I know you love her, Alec. I’ve never doubted that. But I—I—” His voice broke as he collected his thoughts. “I’ve had to make a great many sacrifices in my life. Personal sacrifices. Some of which I have come to regret very much.” His gaze grew hazy, and Alec had the distinct impression that he was thinking of a certain beguiling Irish housekeeper.
One who clearly wasn’t in this town house…
