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“You’ve been acting strangely ever since we arrived. Please don’t deny it.” She held up a hand just as Sylvia had been poised to protest. “And perhaps whatever is going on between you and that man has escaped others’ notice, but not mine. Iknowyou, Sylvia. And you…you’re shutting me out.” Georgiana lowered her eyes, the hurt etched on her beautiful face.
If Sylvia had had a proper night’s sleep, or if she hadn’t had to constantly look over her shoulder, worrying about which servant or guest was reporting on her every move to her mysterious blackmailer, or if she wasn’t driven to distraction by a funny, handsome, and irritatingly tender man she couldneverallow herself to be with, then perhaps she would have been able to master her temper, but at that moment her threadbare control failed.
“Then you now have some inkling of what I have felt for over seven years.”
Georgiana’s head snapped up. “What?” The word was uttered so quietly that Sylvia could barely hear it.
“You claim to know me? Well, do not forget that I knowyou, Georgiana Fox.” The viscountess’s eyes widened at the sound of her maiden name, but Sylvia could not stop the words she had held back for so long from pouring forth. “I know you are miserable in your marriage. I know that Arlington is absolutely horrible to you. And I know that you takegreatpains to pretend otherwise so that you are the envy of society. And yes, you have some people fooled, but not me.” If she had simply stopped there, then perhaps things could have been easily mended between them. Instead, she pressed ahead, giving voice to the very worst of her suspicions.
“But what I still don’t understand—what I haveneverunderstood—is why you ever married that awful man in the first place. Only days ago you called it a mistake.”
“I didn’t mean it,” she said firmly.
Sylvia blew out a frustrated breath. “You can’t lie to me the way you do everyone else, Georgiana. You could have had anyone.Anyone. And yet you cast aside your own personal happiness for what? Atitle? Are you truly that shallow that you would subject yourself to a lifetime of misery for some antiquated social marker?”
Two pink marks stained Georgiana’s cheeks, and she lowered her eyes. “That is what you think of me?” she finally asked, twisting her delicate hands together.
“I don’t know what to think because you share nothing,” Sylvia insisted as she tried to fight against the guilt rising within her. Voicing the questions that had run through her mind for years hadn’t made her feel better.
Georgiana nodded. “I see.” When she raised her head, Sylvia was shocked to see tears in her eyes. It felt as if someone had hollowed out her insides. “Not all of us were born to be radicals, Sylvia. Perhaps it was easy for you to throw away everything you were born with as some sort of grand protest against convention, but look where that got you. I will not apologize for having a sense of self-preservation, along with responsibilities you clearly don’t understand.” As she spoke, her voice grew stronger, and she blinked away the tears until they vanished entirely. It was an impressive display of control. Georgiana straightened her spine and lifted her chin. “I never explained my reasons for marrying the viscount because I didn’t think I needed to. Obviously I was mistaken. I entered into my marriage with absolutely no illusions, and I was given what I was promised: a secure future for my family. Did that come at a cost? Of course. But Irefuseto give in to self-pity. And I would make the same choice again and again. Can you say the same of your relationship with Bernard?” At Sylvia’s silence, Georgiana narrowed her eyes. “I didn’t think so.” Without another word, she turned with a grand flick of her skirts.
Sylvia scrambled to her feet, sending a stack of papers sliding to the floor. “Georgiana—”
“No.” The viscountess shot her a glare over her shoulder. “I want to have the last word. Just once.”
Sylvia pressed her hands against her stomach to keep herself from moving and nodded. Georgiana eyed her for a moment before she gave a dismissive sniff and swept out of the room. The slam of the door echoed loudly in the cavernous library. Every reverberation seemed to further emphasize how very alone Sylvia was. And how very much she deserved to be.
***
Sylvia spent another hour trying to focus on work but eventually conceded and headed back to her room. It was nearing dinnertime, so Georgiana would be busy dressing now. It was a cowardly move, but Sylvia couldn’t face her just yet. Not until she could tell her the truth, or something close to it. She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly walked past Mr. Wardale in the hall.
“Another afternoon spent hard at work?”
Sylvia bobbed a curtsy. “Oh, yes, sir.”
“Mrs. Crawford has spoken very highly of your talents, Miss Sparrow. It was quite the stroke of luck that you two found each other.”
The man’s words were perfectly polite, but there was something in his eyes and the turn of his mouth that caused the hairs at the back of her neck to stand up. It was as if he knew a secret about her. And was enjoying it.
“Yes,” she answered carefully.
He stepped closer, and Sylvia couldn’t keep from glancing down the hallway. Mr. Wardale chuckled. “Not to worry, my dear. Everyone is either tucked away in bed or primping for the evening meal. Though there is hardly anything scandalous about conversing with your host, no?”
“Of course not,” she answered. His attention always made her feel uncomfortable. It was something about the way he looked at her.
He stepped even closer until she could smell his expensive sandalwood aftershave. Sylvia held her breath. A paid companion couldn’t count on being treated with the same respect as a woman of his own class. She reached into her pocket and gripped the cool steel of Mr. Brodie’s pocketknife.
Mr. Wardale met her eyes and took note of her tightened jaw.
He huffed a laugh. “I pity the man who underestimates you, Miss Sparrow,” he said as he stepped back. “Though I suppose that doesn’t happen very often. These days.”
“It does not,” she answered through gritted teeth.
He flashed her a bedeviling smile before sauntering off in the other direction. “Enjoy your evening.”
Sylvia stood frozen in place, listening to his soft footfalls. It was another moment before she was able to move. As she hurried down the hallway, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something of great importance had occurred. Something he wanted her to know. But it wasn’t until she had returned to her room, shut the door, and collapsed onto her bed that it came to her.
Though I suppose that doesn’t happen very often. These days.
