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“Yeah, it’ll be a year in July. It was a change, but I love it here. Different from small-town Nebraska, that’s for sure.”
Gretchen nodded solemnly. “I don’t blame you from wanting to get away. Did you hear Jackson got married again?”
Jeni’s mouth dropped. “He did?”
“Oh.” Gretchen grimaced. “Shit, you didn’t know? Sorry, I just assumed one of your sisters would have told you. He married Pixie Thurman, of all people.”
“Jackson and Pixie?”
“Right?” Gretchen shuddered. “I can’t stand her. He’s happy though, looked like he was on cloud nine when I saw him at the grocery store the other day. Rumor is she’s pregnant.”
“Pregnant?” Jeni suddenly felt lightheaded. “Are you sure?”
“Well, no. You know how people talk in our small town. But they did get married awfully quick. It’s been a few months now. I haven’t seen her lately, so I couldn’t say for sure.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Jeni said. Jackson wouldn’t want his wife far from the farm. Maybe for some women, that kind of life was appealing. For Pixie’s sake, she hoped that was the case.
A cell phone rang, and Gretchen dug around in her purse. “That’s my mom. I’d better go. It was so good to see you. We’re here for another two days, maybe we could get coffee and catch up?”
“Sure. My number’s the same.”
“Great, I’ll be in touch.” Gretchen smiled and gave Jeni another hug before rushing out the door.
Jeni stood rooted to the spot after Gretchen left, her mind racing.
Jackson got remarried? And his wife was pregnant?
The first part she didn’t really care about. She didn’t have feelings for him anymore—he’d made certain of that with the way he treated her those last two years.
It was the news about the baby Jeni’s thoughts kept tripping over.
For so long, he’d told her he didn’t want kids. At the end, he swore up and down that wasn’t the problem and that he hadn’t changed his mind about that fact. She’d always suspected it wasn’t true and wondered if that was one reason he’d begun to resent her.
Now she knew without a doubt—she’d been right.
* * *
Later that night, Jeni and Logan spent hours messing around on her couch. “Logan,” she said breathlessly, and he looked up at her with flushed cheeks and hooded eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”
He let out a half-groan, half-moan. “Jeni.”
“What are you waiting for?” she asked, careful to keep her voice neutral and not accusing. She really wanted to know.
“I know. It’s ridiculous. I’m making us both miserable, but like I said before, I’m trying to do things right by you.”
“What does that even mean? I’m telling you I want you. You’re not taking advantage of me or pushing me to do something I don’t want to do. We’ve been dating almost two months now.”
He gently pushed her off his lap and sat up, rotating his body to set his feet on the ground. His back curved forward, and he put his head in his hands. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Can you try? I mean, it’s okay. I want to spend time with you no matter what we’re doing. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on in your head.”
“I’m not sure I even know.” He rubbed at his forehead before straightening to look at her. “I’ve given my body to other women, but not much else. I never told them my innermost thoughts, talked about my life, or shared emotion. With you, I wanted that connection from the start. Even when I didn’t realize it, I wanted you. And not just to have sex with you but to know you inside and out. In every way. Sex can be so powerful. And with you, it was consuming to a level that frankly freaked me out.” He passed his palm across his chest. “It feels like when we go there again, I’ll lose myself in you so completely that there’s a part of me I’ll never get back. And I guess, with the way we’re doing this thing, I’m worried it will break me.”
“Oh,” she murmured. Talk about a punch in the gut. “I didn’t know you held sex in such high regard.”
“Neither did I,” he said quietly. “I know my actions before I met you didn’t point to that. But you changed everything.”
“You changed everything for me too,” she admitted. Her prior experience didn’t connect intimacy with sex like she’d expected. “It was something I tolerated, nothing more. But with you? It was like you and I were the only two people who existed in that moment. I’ve never felt so in tune another person.”
