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Denied his behaviors.
Defended him.
Lied for him.
“I’ll be careful Sol, I promise. I’ve known who Carmine is for a long time. Don’t worry about me, okay?”
“How can I not? He terrorized me for over a year of our relationship plus a year after leaving him and ultimately drove me out of Boston. The guy’s got issues!” I stand and pace over to the window, pull back the curtain to gaze out at the blue sky. I’m concerned for Melida’s safety.
“He definitely does but you know I’ve been taking self-defense classes for years. I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure he’s following me because he wants to find you, not hurt me. He might have issues, but he’s smart too. He knows not to fuck with me.”“You’re right, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Anyway, enough about that douche, tell me more about this guy. What scares you about him?”
“I wouldn’t say it’s him, per se. I think I’m just scared of a relationship in general. He’s nice, talkative, attentive, maybe too much though. And as you saw the night at the club, he’s not shy.” I pad across the living room and sit on the couch again, crossing my legs.
“Well, it doesn’t necessarily make him a bad guy. Does his behavior weird you out or make you feel uncomfortable?”
“No, nothing like that. It makes me feel at ease, oddly enough. I felt safe with him, but the fact I felt safe with him scares me because I don’t know him enough to feel safe. Does that make sense?”
“I know what you’re saying. Look, take it slow with him. Hang out, be cautious but don’t let your past stand in the way of your future. Otherwise, you could ruin a good thing. Remember, this guy isn’t Carmine. Lucky for you Carmine is a one-of-a-kind loser.”
“True. Definitely need to get out of my own head and start trusting myself again.”
“Sol, what happened with Carmine isn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong. You need to remember, he’s the asshole. He’s the one who hurt you and caused all that shit.”
I pull a curl between my fingers and twirl. “I know. I turned a blind eye and made excuses for him. I mean, you saw him for who he was and kept telling me, but I wouldn’t listen. It wasn’t until I left that everything he’d done to me became crystal clear.”
“That happens in life though. Afterall, hindsight is twenty-twenty. When you’re inside a situation, you want to see the best of it. I don’t think it’s because you’re ignoring it or not seeing it, but I think it’s because you genuinely care and want things to work out for the best. At the end of the day, we’re all human and none of us are perfect. Sometimes, those imperfections are things we can look past and accept. Sometimes, in Carmine’s case, they’re not. The important part is you got out, you finally saw his true colors and left.”
“I guess. Carmine fucked with my head and all the shit that went down made me not trust myself. I already have trust issues with guys, I don’t need to have trust issues with myself.”
“Whatever you do, don’t punish the new guy. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cautious but have fun. You deserve it.”
“Thanks, Mel. I always feel better after talking to you. You know how I get, doubting and questioning myself and my abilities.”
“It’s because I love your ass, which I’m gonna see in a few weeks. I decided I’m coming to visit you for my birthday. Not sure if Jestine or Krissa can come but I’ll go by myself if they can’t.”
“Oh my God!!! I’m wicked excited!” I squeal in excitement. “I have something to look forward to now!”
“Hey Dayi, you want to grab lunch?” I ask after returning from the courthouse where I spent the last few hours interpreting at a hearing.
Since starting work, I’ve been sent out on an assignment nearly every day, with most days being spent at one of the various courthouses in Miami. This week alone I was at the civil courthouse, the family courthouse, and the federal courthouse. I’m so grateful to Mona and Lily for setting up this opportunity for me. It’s made my transition to Miami much easier because it’s keeping me busy doing something I love.
“It’s about time.” She rolls her eyes before busting out in laughter.
“I can’t believe how busy I’ve been in my first few weeks here,” I tell her, dropping my pockabook onto the chair to my right.
“We’re always this busy, so get used to it,chica.”
“So, where should we have lunch? Any good seafood places?”
“Let’s go to Garcia’s. It’s on the Miami Rivery la comida es deliciosa,” she exclaims.
I’ve been craving seafood since being in Miami and hope the food at Garcia’s is as good as Dayi believes it to be. There’s nothing worse than craving a good meal and being disappointed.
We walk through the door and the scent of fried fish invades my senses. The front room has a lunch counter in front of the open kitchen, which is to the left of the fresh seafood market.
“Let’s sit on the back patio, otherwise we’ll smell like fried fish when we leave,” Dayi says, walking toward the back of the restaurant.
