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“So, you want me to do it for you?”
“No! I just…” I just what? I just want you to tell me that Marr will say yes, my brain screams. What the hell was I even thinking?
“You just what?”
“I don’t know what I was expecting.” All my enthusiasm and anxiety crumbles, and I feel like the dumbest person on the face of earth.
“It’s okay, Zander.” She releases a sigh. “To tell you the truth, I was expecting such a call from you, but not this soon.”
My pulse quickens. “You think I’m rushing?” Maybe I am.
But thankfully, she replies fast. “No, definitely not. I don’t think you or Rose have any doubts about each other. Do you?” I can sense the apprehension in her voice.
“Not at all. If I could, I would marry her this second.” Just at the mere thought, my heart races like a horse galloping in a racecourse.
“Go easy, boss. You’re famous for being sensible, not impulsive. What’s gotten into you?”
I release a deep breath at her light question. “That’s what your friend does to me.” I lean back in my seat. The metal butterfly hanging on the rearview mirror swirls, reminding me of the carnival in Cherrywood.
“Tell me, how can I really help?”
I close my eyes and remember Marr sitting beside me in the passenger seat, teardrops falling onto her hands clasped tight over her knees.
“Do you know that Marr has memorized a list of reasons why she’s not right for me?” I don’t remember feeling this tense ever in my adult life. “I just can’t shake this feeling that somehow her insecurities, her fears, will win and I’ll lose her.” My voice sounds pathetic to my own ears, but how do I not worry about her slipping away? “What should I do to make her believe in me, and more importantly, in us?”
“I understand your feelings, Zander. Not only because I know Rose but also because I was at the exact same place not long back. It took me ages to convince Oscar that we’re right for each other. That what we have is right. And here we are talking about Rose. You guys have been together for only a handful of months. You’ll have to give her time.”
I know what she is saying makes total sense, but I don’t like it. I don’t want to waste years convincing Marr. Kristy’s sensible words don’t help my anxiety a bit.
“I know, but that’s not what I want to do. What I want is for her to know that I’m here for good and I’m not going anywhere. We’ve lost so much time in our lives just waiting for someone to love us, hold us, be with us. I don’t want to wait a fucking minute more. I don’t want her to wait any longer for love.”
“You don’t know how happy I am for Rose, and for you.” Kristy’s voice quivers and she clears her heavy throat. “But—”
“My gut says I should do it, Kristy. Recently, I came face-to-face with Marr’s insecurities, and I want to show her that I want her in my life, in my world.”
“You have no idea how much this’ll means to her.” I hear a hitch in Kristy’s voice as she says, “She’s never had anywhere or anyone to belong to.”
My heart stings at that thought just as it does every other time when I imagine my girl alone, scared.“I figured that, and that’s why I don’t want to delay it anymore. I want to give her all the happiness in the world.”
“You already do that. You have no idea how much you’ve changed her. You’re good for her; I have no doubt about it.”
Kristy doesn’t know how much Marr has changed my life.
“I’d need your help with the proposal. I don’t want to make her uneasy, and as much as it kills me, I also want to give her the option of saying no.”
The mere thought of her rejection is like a thousand punches rolled into one. But I need to do this. I can only hope that she says yes.
“There’s no chance she’s going to refuse.” Kristy goes quiet for some time, thinking about my request. “Oscar and I’ve planned a small family breakfast for the day after the wedding. There’ll be Oscar’s family, my mother, and Rose. Why don’t you and your brothers join us? And if you feel it’s right, you can ask her there. You’re welcome to invite anyone else.”
I like her idea. It won’t be crowded, yet everyone who matters will be there. I would love to have Beast, but he’s away on a business trip. Nevertheless, he knows that I’m going to propose to Marr. I hope they can meet soon. I know he’ll instantly fall in love with her.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to hijack your celebration.”
“Oh, please. It’s a special moment, and your proposal will only make it more memorable. I’m dying to see the expression on her face.”
“Me too.” I imagine Marr’s face, and mixed feelings of fear, nervousness, and bliss hit my heart.
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