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The first note belted out of me, and I swayed to the music as it flowed through my body, sinking into the lyrics. The emotion was heavy in this one and I felt each and every word as I sang Lady Antebellum, “Need You Now.”
Open mic night had become my safe haven to explore, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. I enjoyed it, and it filled the empty void my day to day had become. I never realized how much of my life had been wrapped around Simon until he was no longer in it.
He’d tried to call me, sent a bunch of messages, but they all went unanswered. I couldn’t look at them, knowing I’d cave if I did. It was cowardly of me, but I also felt I deserved it in a way. Both as a punishment for not making the best choices in life, and as a chance to spread my wings on my own and see if I could fly without him there to catch me. Simon had become my safety net, and I often chose to hide instead of facing things, and while running was what led me here, I didn’t regret it.
Music and singing were helping me find myself and had become the only moments I let myself feel. The song ended, and I stepped off the stage, the crowd cheering as I walked through them, offering me congrats. I found his smiling face at the back, the same one who’d been my comfort and biggest surprise in this city. His blue eyes sparkled, making me fall into their cool waters as they always did, and I found myself smiling in return.
Thane had wanted to pursue me and date when he found me one night alone at a bar. I’d committed one of my no-no’s by drinking myself into a stupor alone, but was too heartbroken to care about safety. Thankfully, he’d been there to make sure I made it home safely. I ended up spilling the whole sordid affair with Simon and his brother, and he’d been kind and listened. After that he’d agreed to be friends for a time, and I was grateful. I didn’t think I could’ve handled anything more.
But here lately, it seemed like he was running out of patience and wanted more. I was trying to rekindle the spark I had with him. He’d give me a look and I’d wonder if it could be more. Sadly, it didn’t seem to be moving in that direction. The spark was dead, my hormones taking a backseat to my broken heart. I felt bad and I wanted to like him. Maybe it would be worth a try to get over them? It had been there before. It wouldn’t just vanish, would it? The questions of uncertainty were what bothered me the most.
“Amazing as always, my southern princess.”
Giving him a quick hug, I tucked my shorter hair behind my ear, smoothing it over my piercings, a nervous habit I’d developed. My hair was back to my natural color, and now chin length. It had been another attempt to find myself.
I’d changed my name, my hair, and my habits. Something had to stick eventually. I hoped it would keep me hidden longer and give me a chance to figure things out. I knew they’d come for me at some point, but my father and mother had sworn themselves to secrecy, promising not to tell Simon even under duress.
“Was that song about him, or should I saythem?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I took the shot off the table, a new habit, my days of not drinking behind me. It had become so familiar now to toss the tequila back at the end of a song and the liquid slid down easily, maybe a little too easy, and I sank back into my chair to wait until my next song. A few of the usuals sang, and I zoned out, debating my next number. Thane left but returned a few minutes later and brought me honey tea for my throat, and I smiled in thanks. He’d gotten used to my zone moments where I shut out everything.
Blowing on it, I decided to be sociable tonight and not shut him out. “So, how was the clinic today? See any cute dogs for me yet?”
“No, not yet.” He grinned. Thane was still the most attractive man I’d ever met, and while I would sometimes still get distracted by his beauty, I never felt like I wanted to jump his bones right then and there. But maybe, that was the point. Maybe all my dating relationships had been disasters because they were built on lust instead of love?
Even though I didn’t want to admit that was wrong, I knew it was. I had loved Simon, and the one I didn’t like to remember. Pushing aside my morbid memories, I focused back to the present.
“When are you going to let me come visit, anyway? I want to see the amazing Dr. Thane Evans in action!”
“Oh, you know how it is. It’s hard to have people there that aren’t certified. One day, when it’s closed, I’ll take you by. I promise.”
Drinking my tea, I nodded, the same answer he’d given me before. “You coming over after? Or you need to get home?”
“Oh, I might be able to hang for a while.”
“Cool. Your roommate still giving you trouble?”
“Yeah. I need to find a new place to live. I hate that you can’t hang out there.”
“It’s fine. My place is closer to work anyway,” I laughed. I didn’t think it was weird I’d never been over to his place, but after two months, it was starting to feel that way, like maybe he had a secret family or something. It was probably just my overactive imagination, my broken heart seeing lies and deceit everywhere even when there wasn’t.
“Give it up for Tom and his lovely rendition. Now, our next singer tonight at The Roof is a newbie. He’s asked to remain nameless, so let’s give him a warm welcome.”
The lights stayed down as the music started, and only a faint one lit the singer with a guitar on a stool. They were mostly in shadow, hiding their face from view. The piano started, the chords ringing out, and I recognized the song immediately. My interest perked up, and I leaned forward, wanting to be nearer the stage.
“You know them?” Thane asked, an edge to his voice.
“No, I don’t think so, but the song…” I trailed off as the first note sung out, my voice stuck in my throat at the beauty of the sound. The words pierced the air, and I found myself barely sitting on my chair, the richness in their voice painful and deep as they sang Lewis Capaldi’s, “Someone You Loved.”
As they sang about heartbreak and love, I was mesmerized by their voice. Something familiar whispered in my mind, a tear rolling down my cheek as the song ended, and somehow, I knew it was Slade.
“It’s your brother,” I whispered. I turned to Thane, but he was no longer there. I looked at the door, and I barely saw his head pass through before he was out of sight. Picking up my phone, I called him as I headed to the back area, where I could hear better.
“Hello?”
“Hey, why did you leave?”
“I’m sorry, I thought you heard me. I got an emergency text. I’ve gotta go in. Dog in critical condition.”
