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“You didn't?” I gasped, giggling. “You sly fox!”
“Well, I don't like to brag,” she started, before grinning wide. “Actually, I do!”
We laughed together, and I felt lighter, her infectious attitude the jump I needed to restart my own system. She was right about the monster. I'd hidden from it, hoping to appease it by not talking about the hard things, but in the end, I'd given it control, stepping on eggshells around it not to disturb the memories that were too hard to bear.
“Your other fella, he'd want you to be happy, even if that meant being with three men.”
“Three?”
“Mmhmm.”
“But I don't have feelings like that for Thane. I tried, but it's not there.”
“Well, you never know, dear. But until you face that monster, you'll never be able to move forward. Regardless of who you end up with, or what the truth is. Tackle that beast, and everything else might be clearer.”
“You're right.” I nodded at her sage words.
“Ah, it never gets old hearing that, and I should know.I'm old.”
Laughing, she squeezed my hand one last time before turning and looking out across the valley. “It sure was nice to get up here today.” She turned back, a sad smile on her face now, and I felt like crying again. “Be brave, and jump, sweetheart. It's way more fun that way.”
Nodding, I hugged her petite frame, pulling back as I wiped my tears. “I'm so glad I met you. Can I know your name?”
“It's Babs. Babs Taylor.”
“Well, it's been an honor to meet you, Babs. I'm Lennox.”
“I know, dear, Duncan told me.”
“Duncan?”
She only smiled, getting up, and walked over to a man I hadn't realized was waiting. He looked like a home health worker, dressed in scrubs. He situated her in a wheelchair and began to push her down the hill, smiling as he passed. I watched, too shocked to say or do anything else. Had she known Duncan somehow? Was she actually delusional and spoke with spirits? Or had she simply overheard me say his name?
I turned back, taking a moment to shake off the grief, hoping the grief monster would start to dwindle and give me the courage to finally be brave and look at that night myself. Heading back down, a plan began to form in my head, and I turned on my phone, sending the same text to three people, ignoring all the others.
ME: I'll see you at the Saloon at 4:30 pm. Meet in the Cowboy Room.
* * *
Nervous energy coursedthrough me as I waited in the upper-level dressing rooms, watching for them below. Darcie was next to me, finishing up her look for the night. She'd teased her hair and had on some daisy dukes, cowboy boots, and a red plaid shirt tied under her boobs. She looked hot, but it wasn't her, and every time I saw her in this outfit, I couldn't help but giggle.
“Your hair gets bigger every week.”
Darcie puffed up the ends, making a face at me in the mirror. “The bigger the hair, the bigger the tips, darlin'.”
“I could never do this job. I'm not nice enough.”
“That's where you're wrong, sugar plum! You're the sweetest. It's just your defense mechanism keeping people away.”
“Okay, Dr. Phil.” I rolled my eyes, looking back out to the floor. The line dancing hadn't started yet. A few patrons were below, flitting in and out, drinks in hand as they mingled. There were two classes a night and then dancing the rest of the time. Buck walked in a moment later, whistling at Darcie, and I turned to see what he was wearing tonight. When I caught sight of his outfit, I almost fell out of my chair at the sight.
“Oh my gosh, that has to be my favorite outfit ever!”
Standing, I bowed to his awesomeness. Buck preened, pumping up his arms in a macho man pose. Buck was known for his costumes, and despite being heterosexual, he played up his good looks and physique, pulling in a different crowd than what regularly entered the Saloon. Tonight, he was dressed in short lederhosen suspenders and a white puffy sleeve shirt. He had on white socks and boots, a fake mustache, and leather wrist cuffs.
“Thanks, LJ. I had to represent Oktoberfest. Any chance I can talk you into dancing with me tonight?” He begged, and I shook my head. Buck was a huge flirt and was always trying to get me to dance, go for a drink, or sing a song with him. Chuckling, I shook my head but shrugged in the end.
“Who knows, we'll see.” He fake swooned, making Darcie and I chuckle.
