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“Because it’s obvious I’m not. One, I was already asleep when you came here. I just got off a really long flight, and jet lag kicked my butt. If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve been lying in wait, not half-dressed and drooling.”
“Ew! You drooled on my pillow?”
“Sorry.” He shrugged and fiddlesticks if it wasn’t the cutest thing. “Speaking of… could we maybe both put on some clothes? You're really distracting, half-dressed.”
I looked down for some reason, double-checking what I was wearing, and then looked up to him. His hands were casually placed over his lower half, and I wondered if he was attempting to hide something. I didn’t know why the thought excited me. A potential killer/stalker was in my room, and I was drooling over his abs and dimples. Clearly, I was the deranged one.
“Yeah, sure. But like, at the same time. I don’t want to take my eyes off you.”
“Oh?” He smiled again, his dimple popping, and I fell into the trap it created, taking a while to understand what he was smiling about.
“No! I didn’t mean it that way. Geesh.” My face flamed, andZane, as I decided to call him now, gave me a knowing look.
“Okay.”
His gentle statement let me off the hook, and it reminded me of Duncan for some reason. For the first time in years, I wasn’t hit with an overwhelming sense of grief. Perhaps, opening up and crying had helped after all, making the grief monster shrink. Instead, I felt Duncan’s gentle guidance and assurance to trust myself and my gut.
I took a step and waited for him to take action. Once he did, I took another and another. This continued as we crept toward our pile of clothing, and then both pulled them on piece by piece. Once I had on my sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, I did feel better. It could be because Simon’s scent still lingered on the hoodie or that I’d snuck my phone from my jeans pocket as I’d been dressing. Take your pick.
We were still across from one another, facing off in the small room. Zane observed me, and I found myself continuing to soften to his presence. I’d wondered about him for years, and to see him across from me now, altered my perception of things.
“Okay, we’re dressed now. Time to start talking,Zane.”
Pen Pal Letter
NOX TO THANE
Brave Blaze,
I’m so thrilled for you! I don’t know what it is, but if you made a decision and are excited for it, then of course I’m happy for you. It takes a lot of guts to step outside of your comfort zone and I admire you for that. I need to be more like you in that sense. How is your place? Are you liking Arizona? The desert sounds like an interesting place to be.
So, I have a funny story to tell you. My best friend, well he tried to teach me how to drive a stick shift today. To say it didn’t go well is an understatement. I nearly ran off the road, and then I mowed down a bush, and knocked into one of those lawn ornament things. I’ve never seen his face so pale before. He basically told me he was never riding with me again until I could successfully drive. Can you believe that? It wasn’t like his life was in peril! The way he’s acting, you’d think I swerved into oncoming traffic! I swerved, but there weren't any cars coming, so really, he needed to get over it.
There’s a talent show coming up and I’ve been thinking about singing, but one of the mean girls started a petition to not allow me to. She gave it to me as I finally braved the table to do it. It was so humiliating standing there holding this paper with hundreds of signatures from people who didn’t want me to sing. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get on a stage again.
I try not to worry or care about what they think. But that was tough. They can talk about my size, or clothes, but my voice is more personal, more raw. It felt like they were attacking me as a person. I wish I was as brave as you, though I know you feel the same way about singing in front of people. This is one of those moments I wish you were here and you could play your guitar and I could sing. Maybe together it wouldn’t be as scary?
I’m intrigued by the truth or dare concept. Okay, I’ll bite. I’ll choose dare first. Did you read that book I suggested? Would you want to read something together?
Thanks for the smile,
Nox
He looked at me curiously,his eyebrow lifting before asking, “Zane?”
“Well, yeah, I’ve only known you as Zack, and you’re claiming to be Thane, so I decided to make you ’Zane’ in my head.”
He chuckled. The sound reverberated through my body, making me shiver. Fudge! I liked how his laugh sounded and the way it felt rolling over me.
“I like it. Okay, so time to prove to you I’m who I say I am and tell you something good about me,” he mused, rubbing his chin. “Alright, so the good thing first. Well, I just spent the past two and a half months in Liberia, helping them learn how to keep their animals healthy and increasing their production of healthy food and water.”
I nodded, trying to ignore how sweet that actually was. Shifting my weight, I looked at him, “And the bad thing?”
He sat down on the corner of the bed, bracing his elbows on his knees. Placing his head in his hands, he looked at me, a look of pure devastation on his face. “This is going to make me sound horrible.”
“Isn’t that kind of the purpose? To share something?”
“Yeah, it’s just…” he trailed off, sighing. He sat up straight, rubbing his palms on his legs. “Okay, I guess it’s better to spit it out, right?”
