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It was a busy Friday evening atKeyobut the normal queue that existed outside the door wasn’t a bother to us as Freddie’s brother Mark, had already managed to get us onto the VIP list and straight in via the red carpet. I wasn’t ashamed to glance at the party-goers who’d probably had their names on the list for months lined up outside. I gave them a nod and smile as the four of us waltzed straight through the entrance without question.
The high end club was the place to be and the atmosphere was electrifying as the bouncer on the door directed us to the private booth area that had been set up for us in the far corner.
“Are they here yet?” I asked, looking around the sleek and modern lines of the room. The spotted lights highlighted the light beech beams which held the perfect glass outer building together as it overlooked the sights of New York. It was a perfect venue for Christopher to visit and actually see some of the city’s locations from a different perspective. “I guess we could allow them some leeway.” I winked.
“No need for that.” The familiar voice of Freddie oozed from behind me as he wrapped his arms around me and turned me to face him. “We were waiting for you. I can keep my hands to myself for a few hours.”
“But can Luke?” Everleigh chuckled as she came over and stole Fred from my arms for a tight embrace as Dawson stood by her side.
“Can Luke what?” Luke asked as he came closer and placed a kiss to Everleigh’s cheek before doing the same to me. I noticed Christopher standing behind him, holding a tray of drinks in his hand. “Subtly is your worst trait, Everleigh,” he said, directing his words to her with a cheeky wink.
“I know. I’ve been told that a time or two previously.” She smiled at him and grabbed Dawson’s hand, heading to our booth where Chrissie was already sitting, chatting away to Robert and Mark. “I’ll go and say hello to the others. Are you coming?”
“Yep,” I said as Fred grabbed my arm and led me forward toward the booth. He indicated for me to slide in at the far side and shuffle around to the end while he went and helped his man and Christopher.
I was secretly glad of the guidance and support of Freddie’s strength as the wine I’d downed earlier had begun to hit my head and the previous three wines I’d downed prior to Chrissie’s arrival had started to make me feel a whole bit more relaxed.
Well, that was until I noticed Luke took the seat at the opposite end of the booth where the spaces were more sparse and Freddie jumped in right next to him. I thought Christopher would ask them to move around for him since he only really knew the pair of them but when he asked me to shift up, I harshly swallowed and begged my body to follow the command as I couldn’t express any words.
I felt the questionable stares baring straight at me without even looking up and I couldn’t deal with it. I knew the moment I caught one of my friends gazes I’d have a huge problem over my head but it seemed that a certain man was oblivious to the commotion he was causing just by being in my presence.
Christopher began to unload the ladened down tray of drinks, leaving our drinks to last. It was almost like he’d memorized each individual’s order.
“Isobel, Rosé. Sweet, bright and a littletart.” He handed me the drink and as our fingers brushed, I felt a tingle but my mind was swarming with his words.
Tart.I wasn’t a tart anything and I knew as I dropped the glass of wine straight into Christopher’s lap, I knew tonight was about to go downhill.
“What was that for?” he shouted, knocking my glass to the floor, then taking his own beer and spilling it down next to the wine. The liquid spread wide across the floor and I looked up in horror at the scene as everyone watched on in shock as the glass shattered to pieces. “I knew all this would be too good to be true,” he muttered to himself before he stood up and stormed off, heading straight in the beeline of the bouncer and causing a concerned Luke to jump up after him.
“Christopher, wait.”
CHAPTERTWO
CHRISTOPHER
As I walked away from them, I knew that I was being an asshole but I just couldn’t stand there any longer.
I had wanted tonight to be different. Coming out to New York with Luke and Freddie was supposed to signify something. I was supposed to leave the broken soldier part of my life behind in London and come here as the Christopher that all my friends knew. The Christopher that Luke knew. The Christopher that I was desperate to be again.
Instead, I blew up. I let the noise of the club around me, the mass of people crowding and dancing together get beneath my skin and I let it all come out. I let my panic over the noise and the people destroy the calm façade I had put up to hide behind. I let my temper over the hearing device sitting in my ear that I could now no longer live without come to the surface and I took it out on the pretty girl.
I had been with a few women in the past but the pretty girl—Isobel—she was different. Whenever she gazed at me, it felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest and take flight. Most of our interactions together had been over the camera while Freddie and Luke were back in London but I knew that she would always be one of those fantasies that would be forever out of my reach.
She was a princess and I was too shattered to ever be her knight in shining armor.
I disappeared through the crowds, trying my fucking hardest to stay in the now and not disappear back into the battlefield of my nightmares. None of my friends had seen me in a full-blown panic attack and I would do whatever it took to make sure that didn’t happen. I didn’t want them staring at me like I was a freak. I didn’t want anyone looking at me like that.
Especially not the pretty girl.
“Hey!” Luke shouted as he followed me down the corridor that led to the men’s toilets. “What was that about? It was only a spilled drink. There was no need to get angry and take off and…” He stopped talking when his eyes zeroed in on my face. “Christopher?” Now he appeared worried. “Christopher, what is it?”
I shook my head, releasing a shaky breath. “I can’t…” Fear clogged in my throat and I fucking hated that it took over my body like this. “I… can’t… breathe…”
“Fuck.” He moved at a fast pace to me and took me by the shoulders. “Look at me,” he ordered.
I could feel my eyes moving around, trying to focus on something but between the bass of the music that was slowly transforming into bangs, I knew that I was close to losing my grip on reality. My internal thoughts were becoming angry because I had tried to protect my loved ones from the state I got in when my thoughts spiraled out of control. Luke was never going to unsee this and I worried he would tell Thomas and Lauren. I didn’t need them worrying more than they already were.
