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I'd known something was first wrong this time around when I'd begun to lose track of time. I'd enter the on-call room and completely miss a set of rounds, not realizing that time was passing at all. The hallucinations hadn't really started yet, and I was grateful that none had happened while I was working at the hospital. I wouldn't want to imagine something and come out of it to find out that I'd killed a patient.
"Valentina?" Logan asks, looking at me concerned. "You look exhausted, baby. We need to get you back to your hotel. Where are you staying?"
I smile at him gratefully, happy that I didn't have to be the one to ask to end the night, but at the same time, also desperate that they don’t leave me.
It was like I could hear a countdown in my head, ticking off the minutes and seconds I had left. I would consider any minute not with them a waste of that precious time.
"I'm staying at the Four Seasons," I say shyly, looking at the three of them. We're standing on a random street corner, a light breeze blowing around us. There's someone playing an accordion somewhere in the apartments above us, and I can see the Eiffel Tower in the distance.
It's a perfect night.
"Where are you staying?" I finally ask after a long pause. I realize that I probably should have put travel instructions in my letters to them, although if I'd been sober enough to write clear travel plans, then I most likely wouldn't have had the nerve to write the letters at all.
They are each staying at random hotels throughout the city, and I immediately decide that that's not going to work.
I did get a suite for a reason.
That, and I can't take my money with me when I die.
"I have a suite. It has a few bedrooms. We could all fit," I tell them shakily as Quaid works to get us a cab.
"I'm in," says Logan immediately, and Quaid isn't far behind. The three of us turn to Carter, just like always, waiting for his decision.
"I think I need to stay at my hotel tonight," he replies stiffly.
My heart sinks, and my immediate thought at my reaction is I obviously haven't gotten over my greed. I have two of them that are going to stay with me, but it isn’t enough without Carter. It isn’t that they themselves aren’t enough, it's just that my heart had been split into three a long time ago, and that third of my heart only lived for Carter.
"Okay, whatever you need," I tell Carter as he raises his arm to call a different cab.
He's in a hurry, a million things on his mind, and it's obvious with how fast he says goodbye and gets in his cab as soon as it pulls up to the curb.
"Come on, love," says Logan gently as he guides me into our cab. Logan and Quaid both tell the driver the names of their hotel and explain they will need a few minutes to grab their bags from where they were checked in with the front desk.
"Are you regretting coming?" I finally ask. Logan pulls my chin so that I'm looking at him. I want to close my eyes, but the intensity in his eyes makes me unable to pull away.
"I think I've been slowly dying since you left. And tonight's the first night that I've felt like my heart's actually beating, Valentina. So, no, I don't fucking regret coming."
My heart's thudding so loudly that I'm sure that he can hear it. He takes my face gently in his hands and presses the softest kiss on my lips, like I’m the most precious thing that he's ever touched.
Another piece of my splintered heart locks into place, and I wonder at how unfair it is that my heart is finally going to be healed after all of this time, only for my head to kill me.
We stop at Logan's hotel first. It's a gorgeous boutique hotel that's a perfect example of Paris's famous architecture.
"I'll be right back, gorgeous," he says to me, his voice coming out a little rough.
I can't help but admire his ass as he walks away, and he looks over his shoulder and winks at me, letting me know he's onto me.
"Do you want to hear my answer?" says Quaid, amused. "Or are you just going to stare longingly at his ass? I can show you mine, if that's what you want. I'm pretty sure thatPeopleMagazinevoted it ‘Sexiest Ass’ three years in a row."
I laugh and turn my attention to him. His eyes are sparkling as he looks at me, and a lock of his wavy hair has fallen in his face that I'm itching to touch.
I realize that there's nothing to stop me from touching him. It's the best feeling ever. I no longer have to trace his face creepily on the aforementionedPeople Magazine. Although in my defense, he was voted "Sexiest Man." I don't think they have a "Sexiest Ass" feature.
I would have known about that for sure.
"Are you going to come stay?" I ask hesitantly, finding it hard to move my attention from his perfect lips.
His smirk fades as we continue to look at each other. "Stop looking at me like that when I can't exactly do anything about it right now," he growls.
