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"Carter's kind of grown up to be an ass," comments Logan, and for some reason, the comment once again has me spiraling into giggles.
"Should we go find your tree?" asks Quaid, his eyes alight with mischief.
"Nope, remember today's a beach day," I remind him.
"How could I forget that I get to see you in a bathing suit?" he flirts.
I try to smile, but thinking about standing in front of them in a bathing suit has me wanting to throw up, so I'm sure that I look more like I'm grimacing than grinning.
Quaid and Logan both wink at me and then grab their bags to go change. I take my bag and head to the master, since I figure—or at least hope—that one of the guys will spend the nights there with me while we are here. I've had enough of teasing kisses. I'm ready for a home run.
I walk into the room, and then suddenly, the floor under my feet gives in, a dark cloud pulling me under. I’m brought to when I hear Logan knocking on the door. When he sees me lying in the middle of the floor, he rushes towards me.
"Valentina? What happened?"
By my silent reply and shake of my head, I realize I have no idea.
I remember walking into the room, but then everything goes blank after that. I have no concept of how much time has passed, and I don't want to ask. I know what just happened is because of the tumor, and I don't want to lose the rest of the day.
I still have time left, I remind myself.
But the reminder sounds more like a frail prayer, than true fact.
For the first time since I embarked on this adventure, I start to worry about what I'm actually going to be like at the end of the three months…if I even make it that far.
Will I be peeing myself, throwing up constantly, not remember where I am? Because all of that happened during treatment. The symptoms calmed down since then, but me losing moments of time is not a good sign.
"Valentina?" Logan presses again. "Quaid, get the fuck in here."
I realize belatedly that Logan just asked me a question.
"I'm fine," I lie. "I just slipped on something," I continue with an awkward laugh.
Logan stares at me hard, studying my face. He knows I'm lying. The question is, will he decide to call me out or not.
Quaid comes running in, as does Carter. And now evidently it's a party.
I unsteadily get to my feet, savoring the way that Logan holds onto my waist to help me up. It's a weird thing to be so turned on by such a simple gesture while dying.
"Really, I'm good," I assure them. "I'm going to get changed and I'll be right out."
All three of them are studying me, and I know they're going to have a conversation about what just happened as soon as they leave the room.
I just don't want them to know for a little while longer. Everything will change once they know the truth. I've just got to keep myself together. There are so many more things on my list that I want to do with them. And if I come clean now, then I know this trip ends here.
Shaking that nagging idea away, I grab the red bikini out of my bag and hold it up in front of myself. I'd thought it was so sexy while I was in the store, but I've lost another five pounds at least since I bought it, and I'm quite sure I'm going to look terrible in it.
Just suck it up, I yell at myself, and I quickly change into the bathing suit and throw on a cover-up without looking at myself in the mirror.
"I'm ready to go," I announce as I walk out. They immediately stop talking, confirming my suspicion of their gossipy ways.
I ignore them and shoot them all a fake smile. It quickly turns real when I realize just how delicious they look in their swim trunks and tank tops. Evidently, Carter decided to stop sulking long enough to join us for the day.
I suddenly can't wait to get to the beach and get their shirts off. Who cares if I look terrible?
Since I probably need my pills in order to make this a successful day, I run into the other room, throw them down with some water, and then we head out.
We're literally five minutes from the beach, and I swear I nearly orgasm just stepping onto the sand. It's been a really long time since I made it to the beach, even though it’s my favorite activity in the world.
