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And all I can think of is…I should have gone with him.
Chapter 11
Now
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Valentina
I’m hopelessly lovesick. I’m stuck in last night, remembering Carter’s sweet and dirty insatiable appetite once we got back from the beach. It’s like he could sense how little time we have left.
The man can do quick and long, against the wall, in the shower, on the bed, and bent over the couch like no one’s business. We didn’t get much sleep, and by the time the sun searched for the horizon, my legs were weak and my insides quivered like Jell-O.
I’m tangled up in a blanket with a cup of coffee as I watch the sunrise, Carter’s head against my lap as he naps, when Logan comes out.
He’s bare-chested with drops of water sliding down his perfect abs towards a place on his body that I know gives nothing but happy endings. Despite the all-night sex-fest I’ve just engaged in, I immediately want him with the same fierce passion that I felt all night with Carter.
I’m raw right now though, and just the sight of him makes me want to cry, despite the lust I’m feeling.
“Good morning, sweetheart,” he says with a heartbreaking smile. I’m not sure how all my favorite things got packaged in these three men, but I’m certainly not complaining.
“Good morning,” I whisper, slowly moving out from under Carter and slipping a pillow under his head so he can continue sleeping.
I should be sleeping too. Heaven knows my body is barely hanging on. But after trying for one fitful hour, I gave up.
“How did last night go?” he asks, his eyebrows raising up and down. “I knew you would be able to tame the dragon.”
My cheeks blush at the inflection in his voice. That, combined with the images of all the taming I did last night, only makes me go redder.
“Are you okay?” I ask, thinking of what happened after that first night with Logan.
“I just want you to be happy. And I want my best friends to be happy. We can figure everything else out.”
“I don’t deserve you, Logan Cooper,” I tell him, pulling him into the tightest hug possible. My hands savor the feel of his naked skin against mine.
“You just don’t see yourself for who you are, sweetheart,” he whispers, brushing a kiss against the top of my head. “You would leave us and never look back if you were able to see clearly how much we don’t deserve you.” He sighs and squeezes me tighter. “You save me, baby. Every day, you save me.”
“We save each other,” I whisper as I trace the line of his muscles in his back.
I just wish that were true.
Happiness can’t last forever. It’s an ugly fact of life.
For me, the happiness I’d found with Carter, Logan, and Quaid ended in Prague.
It ended because I could no longer hide that I was dying.
The nosebleeds start in Prague, and they don’t stop. Just like the rain that won’t stop pouring down on us. I try to hide it from them, saying that I hit my nose on something at first, and then blaming it on dry air that’s making me unable to heal.
My hands are shaking more than ever though, and the fucking teacup that I’m holding is clattering as I try to hold it long enough to take a drink.
The lies are ridiculous, and no one believes them. Resentment builds in the air, it’s cloying and thick, and I’m trying to ignore it. I’m desperate to ignore it as Carter glares at my trembling teacup, as if it’s done something to offend him personally.
“So why are we here, Val? The hot chocolate is delicious, but I’m sure you have something else up your sleeve,” Quaid quips half-heartedly as we people watch from under the awning at the darling café that the concierge suggested. “I had been thinking that you would want to visit London or something and show us the sights.”
The thought of London sends a pang through my chest. I would love to show them London, but that’s where my mother is. And she knows. She’d want to talk about it with me every second of every goddamn day, making me feel guilty for not doing more. She’d even use Kara against me. It’s not like she hadn’t done it before. I wasn’t about to spend my last days listening to her manipulating ploys.
Where had she been during my treatment, anyway? Had she flown in from London to make sure that I wasn’t alone?
