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“I’m not hungry,” she utters.
“It’s your dad’s recipe. I followed it as best as I could.”
Her weary eyes look at me, the unshed tears sparkling the gold in them.
“Will you eat with me?” she chokes out, strangling my heart further.
I nod, even though food is the last thing on my mind, but if it will get Val to eat something, then I’ll have to make the effort. She takes a small bite as one tear falls to her plate, and a trace of a smile begins to surface on her face.
“It tastes like his.”
My own meek grin tugs on the corner of my lips.
“I doubt that.”
“Try it,” she commands, taking a forkful and bringing it up to my mouth.
I close my lips over the fork, and wouldn’t you know it, but it does taste similar to his. I open my eyes and see her golden eyes water further.
Mine start to prick at their corners as she takes another bite, only to go back to the plate and offer me another forkful. I take it. Full wet tears trail down her face as she eats, and I swipe them away with my thumb, making sure not to interrupt her meal. Her trembling fingers do the same to the tears I’m shedding as she feeds me yet another forkful. This goes on for a few minutes, until there is nothing left on the plate.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
I nod, getting up from the bed, but she holds onto my wrist when I try to pick up the tray.
“Don’t go,” she hushes.
She pulls the duvet down and scoots over on the bed, just enough for me to get in. Silently, I take off my shoes and do as she asks. Valentina places her head on my chest, and I pull her closer to me.
“I miss him,” she whispers.
“Me too.”
She hugs me tighter, her tears tattooing their pain onto my skin.
“I don’t know how to go on. Not without him.”
My throat tightens as I cry soundlessly, her words mimicking my own. She raises her chin on my chest, watching me as I run my fingers through her hair
“We’ll be okay. Won’t we?” she asks, unsure.
“I hope so.”
After a long silent pause, she lays back down beside me, her head back on my chest, listening to the organ that refuses to work.
“He loved you, you know?” she hushes, breaking my heart even more.
A loud sob leaves my throat, and I have to bite my knuckles just so I don’t break down right here.
“Quaid,” she hushes, full on crying now.
I pull her up and place my head on the crook of her neck. She weaves her fingers through my hair, offering me solace when she can’t find her own. I immediately feel like a selfish prick for bringing my misery to her when she hasn’t been able to escape hers.
“I’m sorry,” I cry. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” she cries.
I’ve never cried like this before.
